To quote Tom Petty, the waiting truly is the hardest part. Or, to use an old adage, "When one door closes, another one opens....but it's a heck of a hallway?"
I'm in the hallway.
I'm currently between assignments - working on a potential freelance assignment; have a meeting for another client (which may end up being pro bono, since they're a non-profit), and have been sending out resumes, updating my materials (received my new business cards via Moo.com)....and found myself slipping back into some old, negative thinking - you know, "It's not fair/why doesn't anyone hire me/it's a crappy system/why should I bother?"
In short, giving into my own cynical pessimism (or is it pessimistic cynicism?). Having my natural snarkiness begin to emerge, and wanting to go out and make sharp, bitter comments in public for that short, sharp shock that only comes when some tidbit of wit emerges from my mouth. In short, it's my gaining an edge in my job stalking by sapping the energy of the room, giving me a natural "one step up".
But in the midst of that little crisis, several things happened which helped me snap out of it.
The first - watching these two videos by Henry Rollins - there's nothing like plain-spoken motivation. Especially from a man who works as hard as he is, taking jobs in order to fund his passions. I can identify with doing that, and quite honestly - I admire him for that.
But most importantly, it's this - personally, I think of cynicism as a cheap, easy way to avoid responsibility. It's easy to be cynical, because it never needs to be justified, rationalized, or defended - life sucks, so why not just admit it and move on? But cynicism also means never taking chances, never moving forward, and quite honestly - my success (or lack thereof) in gaining employment is directly proportional to my prevailing attitudes.
Yes, it's a tough job market out there - I get that. It also takes more energy to keep plugging away, to change habits that aren't working, than it is to complain. It's tough, because there are those who are more willing to capitalize on charm - and the efforts of others - than to build something of their own. Being snarky may help in the short term, but long term? All it does is make me feel less than adequate, and that energy is best spent in other pursuits.
But now, it's back to the grindstone of seeking full-time/freelance/other kinds of work. It may be a heck of a hallway, but I know that at some point, a door will open - it's just a matter of moving forward in a single-minded manner.
Your thoughts? Place them in the comments below. You are also more than welcome to connect with me via Linked In (just mention Job Stalker when you connect), and check out my other online writings via http://www.gordondymowski.com
As always, thanks for reading!