Resume advice for professional eaters

Great resume advice this morning on WGN-AM Radio from ResuMAYDAY's Lauren Milligan. She answered a lot of my questions about the "objective," which I've taken to leaving off my resume altogether because, as she explains, no matter what you write, you'll sound like you are an utterly boring and sad individual.

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That blueberry pie eating contest from 2004. Employers, take note - I literally can chew through walls.

She also advises against writing an objective that says, "I would chew through walls to get this job." That is, unless you're a professional eater. Which, I am. James Notzen, wherever you are, you'll never eat more eggs than me. You're tired, washed up, a has-been. By the way, still waiting for those free movie tickets from that blueberry pie eating contest in 2004.

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