Well the other night*, I went on a date, not a bad date, but one of questionable second-date potential. It was your typical mediocre first date chatter: What do you do? Where do you see yourself in five years? That was until Mr. Good on Paper (Ivy-league educated, MBA, good-looking, professional) asked about my practice as a lawyer. Without really waiting for my response, he goes into this tirade about his run-in with the law ... occupational hazard for attorneys. I was secretly hoping for it to be some minor traffic offense like a speeding ticket or the boot. Nah, it was a battery. Nice, a temper. Sidenote: Why are you telling me this? More pointless prattling and nodding with fake interest ... and the date was finally over. I politely kissed him on the cheek, gave an "ass-out" hug, and thanked him for a lovely evening. I realized he had bigger plans--Mr. Good on Paper was trying for a liplock! Trying to shield myself from the incoming attack, I Turette's-style yelled, I have coffee breath! He said it's ok. Ok?! Halitosis is NEVER ok. Scrambling for something better, I further shouted, "I don't kiss on the first date!" Three years of law school and that's the best on-the-fly argument I could make?! Really, am I a 14 year old Brady? *Timeframes and individually identifiable information have been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.
I don't kiss on the first date. I feel like it sets bad precedent. Besides I have this test that I call the canker test. The test goes like this: If after the first couple dates I don't see an unsightly mass growing on your face, I feel a bit more comfortable about you not having some communicable disease waiting to colonize on my lips. Last thing you want is a creepy cold sore from some "first date wonder."
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Tags: bad first date, body language, body language signs, date ideas, dating, first date, how to kiss, how to kiss a girl, kiss, kissing, making out, social graces, social skills, valley station kentucky
