Toronto Mayor Rob Ford may not hold his present job too much longer, but despite his troubles, he truly belongs in the City of Chicago. Apparently, Mayor Ford missed his calling. This guy would be canonized in this city today following the publication of his drunken, expletive-filled video where he threatens to kill, maim, and beat someone to death if simply given 15 minutes to do so.
Mayor Ford would be a folk hero to all of those guys who get drunk, let their bellies hang out of their pants and rant about how tough they are.
Mayor Ford would fit in perfectly in this town. He is a drunk, fat slob who, when intoxicated, acts like a bad-ass and wants to pretend like he's about to do something. How many times have any of us, who have frequented bars or parties where our friends or acquaintances are liquored up, seen an example of this kind of behavior? The "I'm a tough guy, but when challenged, I won't do anything" kind of behavior. I know I've seen it many times.
And how many of us like to egg those fake tough guys on? I know I'm guilty.
If you watch this video only once, you are not getting the full flavor of how truly entertaining this guy is. Look at his pants, the belt, his gut, and how he mimes the way he's going to kill someone and rip their eyes out. Priceless.
Listen to him and watch the second half of the video where his words are transcribed. My favorite quotes:
"He dies or I die brother. No holds barred brother. But when he's down, I'll rip his f***ing throat out."
Slightly reminiscent of Hulk Hogan, but eerily similar to quotes you'd hear on Rush Street at 2 a.m. or on South Western Avenue after the St. Patrick's Day parade.
You may have seen Mayor Ford's other starring role in a video where he is smoking crack. He apologized for that already as well as issuing an apology for today's video as well. This video, however, is star making.
No need to apologize Mayor, you are a true professional and, I'm sure, an envy to politicians all over Canada.
Mayor Ford is selling himself short. If Marion Barry can come back from his intoxicated past, there is a much bigger audience and constituency down here in the lower 48 for Rob Ford. It appears that the Toronto City Council is trying to get rid of Mayor Ford since he is refusing to resign. If he's ousted, may I suggest Chicago as a safe and welcoming landing spot. (But, if not Chicago, a Mayor Ford in Detroit seems about right.)
If you like what you read here, type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
Filed under: Uncategorized