7 Reasons the Blackhawks Can Not Have Time Off

The season is over, the Stanley Cup has been won, and Chicago celebrates the Blackhawks tomorrow in Grant Park.  But then what?  Am I supposed to go home and watch baseball? Tennis? Golf? Kill me please.

Here are 7 reasons why the City of Chicago and the fans have to figure out a way to keep the Blackhawks in the news and playing over the summer:

1.  The Chicago White Sox - Currently sporting a lusty 32 - 43 record and residing in last place in the Central Division of the American League, a team that some predicted for a contending season has been a disappointment since day 1.  When deciding which baseball team to place atop this list, the decision was easy.  The Cubs at least acknowledge that they are rebuilding and retooling their entire baseball operation.  The White Sox, on the other hand, seem lost and were apparently fooled into thinking that this slow, aging and uninspired team had any possibility of succeeding this year.  Good thing Jerry Reinsdorf doesn't have to pay rent.  Attendance isn't going to get any better.

2.  Pat Foley, John Wiedeman, Eddie Olczyk, and Troy Murray - No offense to the White Sox or Cubs announcing teams, but each of these Blackhawks announcers and analysts on television and radio are capable of ramping up the action, describing the game, and identifying strategy in such ways that long-time hockey fans and the newly initiated can all enjoy the broadcasts.  It didn't hurt that the team was in first place all year and played a tremendously exciting style of hockey.  Pat Foley doing Hawk Ford commercials is just not enough.

3.  Marc Trestman - In a few weeks, the Bears open pre-season and our sports broadcasts and newspapers will be filled with information about the upcoming Bears season and new head coach Marc Trestman.  I was no Lovie Smith fan by any means, but this guy truly seems like a personality-free weirdo.  If Joel Queenville's terse responses got on your nerves, just try to imagine Trestman enjoying a locker room beer shower after winning a championship.  Ain't going to happen.

4.  @CoachQsMustache a/k/a Quennville's Stache - A twitter feed that is written and voiced by Blackhawks Head Coach Joel Queenville's long-time sidekick, his mustache.  Currently with over 16,000 followers, @CoachQsMustache needs material to maintain the high caliber tweets that have been published.  Some examples from Monday night when the Hawks won the Cup:

  • 1-1. Fun fact: Chara's beard isn't homegrown; it was shipped in from a sod farm.
  • What do playoff beards do after? Some go live in the woods, others hit the beach. But ours kiss The Cup.
  • Sid the Kid has 1 Cup. Kane the Mane has 2. Your move, NHL marketing dept. #mullethumor
  • Meeting us at O'Hare? We're ditching the team plane & everyone's flying home on Bolland's beard. #magiccarpet

There is nothing to match this level of humor on the sports horizon.  Can you imagine @CoachTrestmansPinHead?

5.  Dale Sveum - The manager of the Cubs seems like a decent guy, but between him and Robin Ventura on the south side, could we possibly be stuck with two more boring managers?  Listening to Sveum after a game (nice rhyme) makes me long for drunk Lou Piniella or shifty Dusty Baker.  I'm down with the tats, but Dale is about as exciting as his team.

6.  Aaron Hernandez - Our sports airwaves are now going to be filled with the facts (alleged), evidence (alleged) and theories of what former New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez did to his supposed friend and why. Frankly, I'd rather see just one more scene of Jonathan Toews lifting someone's stick and stealing the puck than another replay of Hernandez' perp walk.

7.  It May Never Happen Again in My Lifetime - At a selfish level and as a long-suffering Chicago sports fan, I know that given the vagaries of professional sports, this may be the last time I see a Chicago sports team win a championship.  So why does it have to be over?  How about a quick Olympics challenge where the Blackhawks play a team of international stars? Maybe a revival of ABC's old "Superstars" show where Bryan Bickell can arm wrestle an NFL great?  Or the Blackhawks could tour like the Harlem Globetrotters and play the Washington Generals all over the country...ESPN would surely televise that.

Oh hell, the season's over.  I'll just watch replays on the internet.


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