Take Your Stickers off my Kumquats

In the grand scheme of things, a sticker on a piece of fruit does not rise to the level of controversial issues like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict or the dangers of the "fiscal cliff," but it does say something about our society - where we've been and where we're going. 

Doing the right thing has become, in many instances, more trouble than it's worth. 

Depending on your age, you may remember shopping in a grocery store for yourself or with a parent, going into a produce section and having an employee actually help you.  That help could include finding a fruit or vegetable you were looking for, giving advice on what is in season at the time, or what you might want to include in a particular recipe.  I'm not old enough to have experienced this firsthand, but I did see my mother interact with produce managers and staff when she would drag me to the store.  It was cool to me that there was someone who was an "expert" in this field and could help out my mom with these kinds of things.

Today, however, you don't have someone to help you in the produce section or, for that matter, pretty much anywhere else in a grocery store.  Instead, you get a useless, annoying sticker on every apple, pear, grapefruit, or kumquat that you pull out of the produce bin.  

I try to eat healthy and I like certain fruits, but do I really have to scrape a sticker off an apple or pear everytime I want to put something in my mouth that is supposed to keep me from dying before my time?  Remember the produce guy?  He weighed the fruit for you, put it in a paper bag and wrote the price on the bag.  Seemed like a good operation.

  That's a big-ass sticker for a little piece of fruit.

  Perfectly naked kumquats.

For those of us who are trying to do the right thing and don't need obstacles in our paths, I say to grocers and fruit growers everywhere, keep your stickers off my fruit!  I know that they are supposed to help the cashier and keep track of where the fruit is grown and whether it's organic or not, but is all of that really necessary?  Bring back the produce guy.

And, while I'm at it, I also demand that whoever is in charge of these other things pay attention:

1.  Keep the extra cellophane off my orange juice bottle.  Aren't two levels of protection enough while I try to get my vitamin C to keep me breathing into my 70's?  I'm groggy enough in the morning and then I'm forced to find the serrated edge of the cellophane covering the top, figure out how to get the bottle open and then, suprise suprise, I have to figure out how to pull off the seal that covers the liquid.  Just let me drink the freakin juice!

2.  Stop triple wrapping my ear buds that I use to listen to music while I'm exercising, in plastic, covered with plastic, and then more plastic.  I need a nap after I finally open the damn things.

3.  Increase the font on the Imodium packages.  All the fruit and fiber I'm eating to stay healthy is making me sick and I can't read the labels to know how much to take so I can feel better.

There, after writing all of this, I do feel better -  and I had no stickers, no plastic protection and no pills.

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