Black Parents Quotes are Trending. White Parents, Not so Much

On Twitter yesterday, I noticed that a trending topic in Chicago was #blackparentsquotes. ( Let me thank my daughter, Erica, for at least teaching me what a trending topic is so I can discuss this.)  Upon noticing this topic and having spent the past couple of years with a black parent (my wife), I decided to see if any of the tweets rang true.  And, more importantly, I wanted to try to give my own White Parent equivalent (being a white parent myself).

So, here goes - first the Black Parent quote, then the White Parent version (if it's even possible):

BLACK:  slap. DIDN'T. slap. I. slap.  TELL. slap. YOU. slap. TO. slap. CLEAN. slap. UP? MOVE YA HAND! slap

WHITE:  Sweetie - let's go over to the timeout chair because you didn't clean up your room.

BLACK:  Child, you better start talking!

WHITE:  Honey, would you like to talk to mommy about what happened?

BLACK:  When we get to the store, don't touch nothin', don't ask for nothin', don't even look at anything because you ain't gettin nothin!

WHITE:  When we get to the checkout line, you can pick out a candy bar that you like!

BLACK:  An allowance?  I ALLOW you to eat and live in my house.

WHITE:  Is $10 enough?

BLACK:  You better be in this house before those street lights come on.

WHITE:  What time do you want me to pick you up?

BLACK:  Stay out of grown folks business.

WHITE:  Children should be seen and not heard.  Or -- Honey, not now, mommy and daddy are having a talk.

BLACK:  So you think you're grown, huh?

WHITE:  Oh sweetie, you're so mature.

BLACK:  Roll those eyes at me again and Im'a knock them in the back of your head.

WHITE:  Did you just roll your eyes at me?  That's not nice.

BLACK:  Boy, don't make me beat the black off of you!

WHITE:  No equivalent.

According to the wife, they ring very true.  I'm sure I missed many, but you can always check out Twitter.

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