On Twitter yesterday, I noticed that a trending topic in Chicago was #blackparentsquotes. ( Let me thank my daughter, Erica, for at least teaching me what a trending topic is so I can discuss this.) Upon noticing this topic and having spent the past couple of years with a black parent (my wife), I decided to see if any of the tweets rang true. And, more importantly, I wanted to try to give my own White Parent equivalent (being a white parent myself).
So, here goes - first the Black Parent quote, then the White Parent version (if it's even possible):
BLACK: slap. DIDN'T. slap. I. slap. TELL. slap. YOU. slap. TO. slap. CLEAN. slap. UP? MOVE YA HAND! slap
WHITE: Sweetie - let's go over to the timeout chair because you didn't clean up your room.
BLACK: Child, you better start talking!
WHITE: Honey, would you like to talk to mommy about what happened?
BLACK: When we get to the store, don't touch nothin', don't ask for nothin', don't even look at anything because you ain't gettin nothin!
WHITE: When we get to the checkout line, you can pick out a candy bar that you like!
BLACK: An allowance? I ALLOW you to eat and live in my house.
WHITE: Is $10 enough?
BLACK: You better be in this house before those street lights come on.
WHITE: What time do you want me to pick you up?
BLACK: Stay out of grown folks business.
WHITE: Children should be seen and not heard. Or -- Honey, not now, mommy and daddy are having a talk.
BLACK: So you think you're grown, huh?
WHITE: Oh sweetie, you're so mature.
BLACK: Roll those eyes at me again and Im'a knock them in the back of your head.
WHITE: Did you just roll your eyes at me? That's not nice.
BLACK: Boy, don't make me beat the black off of you!
WHITE: No equivalent.
According to the wife, they ring very true. I'm sure I missed many, but you can always check out Twitter.
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