Facebook standards are the epitome of hypocrisy

Several months ago, I conducted a test. There were several comedic posts on Facebook demeaning Italians. I filed a complaint. Facebook replied that the posts met their standards.

A few months later, I filed a complaint about comedic posts disparaging Mexicans. Once again, Facebook claimed the posts met their standards.

The other day, I was notified by Facebook that one of my comments to a post had been removed because it violated their standards. The offensive post? "Read history moron."

I do not remember the original post, but it must have been a news story or column that was political in nature.

You can make racial or ethnic slurs on Facebook, but you cannot call someone a moron. How hypocritical is that? Disparaging ethnicity and race is deplorable but acceptable on Facebook. Moron is unacceptable, though not deplorable. Go figure.

Facebook asked about my experience with this issue asking me to pick an emoji. I picked the angriest looking one. Facebook then asked if I would like to comment. I called them out on their blatant hypocrisy and stupidity. I conceded I would no longer use the term moron. I would use less-on since that is lower than a moron.

Is Facebook now the protocol and etiquette police? Are we children who must play nice, sit with our feet flat on the floor, hands carefully traipsing across the keyboards, so as not to offend the delicate snowflakes, cupcakes, and buttercups who inhabit our world?

Facebook standards are the epitome of hypocrisy. Their standards are non-existent. They are meaningless, worthless, and irrelevant. Their inconsistency and extreme subjective nature make them so.

After much thought, about ten seconds worth, I decided to go high falutin with my responses.

I will use Elizabethan dialogue along with some Shakespeare. The Bard came up with excellent insults.

Swive was the Elizabethan term for the eff word, as in "You pig swiver." Swive it is.

Buffoon is one of my favorite words. It will be replaced with squiffy.

Rapscallion and scallywag will also enter my lexicon.

I found an Elizabethan insult generator. Using it I came up with a short list of phrases to use on Facebook:

Starvelling elf-skin.

Dried neat’s-tongue.


Poisonous bunch-backed toad.

Clay-brained guts.

Knotty-pated fool.

Whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch.

Lump of foul deformity.

Vile canker-blossom'd countenance.

Clapper-clawed canker blossom.

Currish dismal-dreaming egg shell describes the oh so fragile snowflakes, cupcakes, and buttercups.

Frothy flap-mouthed fustilarian.

Brazen earth-vexing malignancy.

Unmuzzled urchin-snouted lout.

If Facebook tries to silence me again, I will remind them of their hypocrisy in allowing racist, ethnic, and even gender disparagement to be posted with no repercussions.

Facebook standards? Get the swive outta here.

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