The GOP debates should be renamed the GOP debacles. They resembled professional wrestling trash talk.
Here is an idea. Let Jerry Springer and Maury Povich moderate the debates. The ratings would go through the roof. Imagine, candidates tossing chairs around, grabbing and pushing each other, trying to throw punches, and shaved head ex-Secret Service agents holding them back from doing real damage.
There would be language continually bleeped out. Wives, girlfriends, husbands, ex-wives and husbands, ex-girlfriends and boyfriends could charge on stage and scream obscenities, pushing and shoving candidates and each other.
Some could have children with them , who may or may not look like the candidates. "DNA tests prove you are the father Mr. Candidate." "Look his weenie is just as small as his daddy's." "I did not sleep with that..." "The lie detector test proves you are not telling the truth."
If candidates are going to have embarrassing donnybrooks and melees on television, they may as well be produced and moderated by professionals. No one is more professional for producing embarrassing television than Jerry Springer and Maury Povich.
Many celebrities and other Americans are threatening to leave the country if the candidate they hate is elected president. If you want to make America great again, do the country a favor and get out. Go. Leave. Do not look back. Do not let the border slap you on the keester on the way out.
Only, why do you want to move to Canada? It is cold, snowy, and full of Canadians. People who love their country, culture, and are proud to be Canadians.
If you are going to leave, move to a warm climate and country where people are trying to escape. Droves of disaffected expatriates should run, drive, walk, or swim across the border to Mexico.
The Mexican government is so overwhelmed trying to govern its own people, it would not know what to do with millions of angry, uncouth, uncultured, ugly Americans showing up on their door step, beaches, mountains, and villages. It would be the invasion of the Walmart shoppers.
Millions of Mexicans are here, doing all the jobs over educated unintelligent American slobs are too lazy to do. They love it here. They are productive, working hard to achieve the American dream you are running from. Our politicians want them to stay here. The Mexicans want to stay here. So you may as well swap places.
It would be impossible for Mexico to deport millions of Americans fleeing political embarrassment for a better government. Mexico cannot afford to build a wall to keep them out. They would be forced to keep them.
The expats could gather in gated suburban like enclaves complaining how great America used to be until the candidate they hate got elected.
Of course there is a problem. They would want to come back in three years when decent candidates start running for office. That is when we should build that wall along the border. The mother of all walls. We should dig a wide moat along that wall. We should fill the moat with alligators and piranhas. Mine fields would be a nice touch. Sharpshooter guards should be stationed every few yards along that wall. The last thing America wants is these people back.
Please leave if your candidate is not elected. We do not want you here. You people are as embarrassing as all the candidates running for office from both parties. Take your extreme political beliefs and offensive behavior someplace else.
America does not need or want phony patriots.
Just do us all a favor. Never return.
Filed under: Uncategorized