The weekend wrap up: Liars, lawyers, and sex toys

News is becoming more entertaining by the week. It is no longer mere reportage of important stories imparting information to the public. Television news is pure entertainment. The public is more amused by news than concerned. They do not use the news to make decisions. They use the news to be entertained.

What is the latest news about Rachel Dolzeal? Not a peep. Rachel Dolzeal, the "transracial" former head of the Spokane NAACP chapter, makes politicians, lawyers, used car salesmen, and liars look honest. She had her fifteen minutes of fame. The wild haired spray tanned poseur is irrelevant. Unless, of course, she gets endorsement contracts from hair care and tanning product companies. Maybe a cover shot on Vogue?

Brian Williams, another famous prevaricator, is joining the shouting spittle spewers on cable news. MSNBC is letting Williams work out his bloated contract in their minor league division. He will read the scripted wire service stories with the same avuncular panache he read them at NBC. America's most trusted mountebank will bring a shred of rectitude to the MSNBC line up of carnival barkers.

The United States Supreme Court ruled that gays have the right to get married. Champagne corks were popping in all fifty states and the territories. Divorce lawyers were celebrating. They went to sleep counting rainbow dollar signs. There is no worry that hard core religious attorneys will turn down gay divorces. The only god they worship is money. This is the divorce lawyers' creed:

SCOTUS once again upheld the Affordable Care Act, known as Obamacare. No matter what the GOP claims, they will do nothing to repeal the act. Contrary to popular belief and their gasbaggery, Republicans never had any intention of repealing the Affordable Care Act. Like their pals, the Democrats, they take major campaign contributions from the insurance companies, who are profiting from the act. The GOP is lying. The Democrats are lying. Remember this. All politicians are liars.  All liars are not politicians.  Politicians make liars look honest.

Everyone is scrambling to eliminate the Confederate flag, including manufacturers of Civil War Games. Soon, history books will no longer have pictures of the Stars and Bars. The Confederacy will be erased from the public memory. The Civil War will be written off as a conflict between the Union and some other guys. Here is a modest proposal. History is offensive to everyone. It would be best if we banned history outright. People's over tender sensitivities and self esteem will be left intact. No one will be offended. All will be well in the world.

The 2016 presidential election cycle is upon us. Cowards in the Democratic Party refuse to challenge Hillary Clinton, the invincible and inevitable one. The GOP is a clown car. They are trying to break the record for how many clowns can be stuffed into a 1960's Volkswagon Beetle. It is a pity that in a nation with so many wildly successful, dynamic, and talented people, our choices for president are limited to bad, worse, and worst.

Chicago aldermen are always entertaining. They can always be counted on say the dumbest things. They put the stupid into stupid people tricks. 19th Ward alderman, Matt O'Shea, got his knickers in a twist over a Dollar Tree store opening in a former supermarket. He was not consulted about it, even though there was no legal reason to consult him. His fragile ego was shattered. O'Shea is demanding residents boycott the new store when it opens. Since when do residents listen to aldermen? Yes, they vote for the jocular jongleurs, but listen to them? Even dumb voters are not that stupid.

Cook County Board president, Toni Preckwiinkle, wants a one cent sales tax hike. She campaigned and won election on a promise to overturn the sales tax hike her predecessor rammed through the county board. Preckwinkle was against the hike before she was for it. The Cook County Board is the ignored step child of local politics. No one can figure out what they do, why they exist and could care less.Maybe the news media decided to make them feel good by giving them a plug.

The best news story? CNN reported on an ISIS flag seen at London's Gay Pride Parade. CNN International's Lucy Pawle called in a grave report of her sighting of the flag. She even claims to have notified the police. The black and white flag, designed to mimic an ISIS flag, was actually adorned with depictions various sex toys used as lettering. It was apparent to everyone but Pawle and CNN. It is way past time CNN changed its name to Comedy News Network.

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