'Dibs' is the civil rights issue of our time

'Dibs' is the civil rights issue of our time
Photo taken in plaza across from NBC Tower. (PV Bella)

The photograph looks like a doughnut. It was sitting on a decorative pedestal in the plaza across from NBC Tower. The day the picture was taken, there was a protest against the Turkish government there.

"See something. Say something." is our civic responsibility, etiquette, protocol, and propriety, according to our Dear Leaders.

Chances are this doughnut was not a doughnut. It could have been a poison bait trap for police officers.

It is possible it was an explosive device made to look like a doughnut with fondant and icing.

The doughnut may have hidden a triggering device for some other weapon of destruction that could maim or kill. It could have been anything.

Or, it could just be a doughnut.

I shot it. I did not say anything. I am not a rat, fink, stool pigeon, or any combination thereof. I don't see nuttin or say nuttin.

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Chicago Tribune photo.

What brought this little "Memory from times Pabst?"

Dibs and something called Chicago Blizzard Etiquette.

Since last weekend's blizzard, tales, folklore, and the myth of dibs promulgated the news.

Columnist John Kass, the official "Judge Dibs," wrote his yearly column in the subject.

Not to be out done, Kass self described "moderate" colleague at the Chicago Tribune, Eric Zorn, chimed in. Mr. Zorn anointed himself "Chief Justice Dibs".

For those of you who live in foreign lands like Wisconsin, "dibs" is reserving shoveled out parking spaces with stuff from your home. It could be chairs, baby carriers, tables, milk crates, ironing boards, or other assorted junk.

People believe if they spent time, effort and the risk of a chest grabber or heart-a-stroke to carve out a parking space, they deserve exclusive use of it.

Chicago Tribune photo.

Chicago Tribune photo.

Some, especially the over sensitive ever so kind millennials and progressive philosophers, believe people have no right to reserve a spot they shoveled out on a public street. They believe someone should call the city and report them.

"See something. Say something".

These same people advocate shoveling city sidewalks. Again, they want people to report anyone who fails to shovel to the Dear Leaders who run the city. There is an ordinance requiring sidewalks in front of residences be shoveled.

Being inconsiderate is illegal in Chicago.

We must pitch in for the common good. For the good of all. We must shovel the city streets, alleys, sidewalks, and any other city property. It is the legal kind and decent thing to do.

We have a civic obligation report any and all who fail to abide by the laws of etiquette, protocol, and propriety.

These heinous violators must be punished.

The snow etiquette people are oh so concerned about seniors, the handicapped, small children, parents with double-wide stretch strollers, and others who need to traverse the sidewalks. They are also concerned they cannot park in a space someone else shoveled out.

It only gets worse. They demand you shovel your car out too. How dare you leave your car buried, taking up extra space due to the snow, and use public transportation. You too need to be punished.

This is Chicago. Dibs is a cherished tradition. Dibs is the civil rights issue of our time, along with the right to be inconsiderate of others. These are unalienable rights guaranteed to us.

We also have the unalienable right to see something and say nothing. It is not just a right. It is a Chicago tradition, duty, and obligation. The no snitch rule has been around since Chicago was a mud flat.

Chicago would be a much better place if these nosy busy bodies would mind their own business. You want the city sidewalk shoveled? You shovel it. You want buried cars shoveled out? You do it. You want all the parking spaces on your block free of snow, you risk the chest grabber or heart-a-stroke.

These people keep seeking something called fairness. Life is not fair. Why should the rest of us be.

It these people do not like our quaint folksy ways and traditions, they can always leave. They can cross the borders to the foreign wastelands of Suburbia or move to Wisconsin.

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