Jon Stewart insults Chicago mayor and pizza

What is a cast iron pan good for? Smacking a New York comedian in the head several times.

Jon Stewart made a poor childish attempt at satire and comedy to not only insult Chicago, but our mayor, pizza, and hot dogs.

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Chicago Tribune photo

It is not bad enough savage transplants from New York bash us while making their careers here.

Jealousy is rife in New York, a second rate city which considers savagery cosmopolitan. Hey New York, a Cosmopolitan is a cocktail you people drink too much of.

New York is a crumbling shell of its former greatness. It is being held together with chewing gum and baling wire. It is no longer the number one city in America. Just because they say it does not make it true.

In his diatribe, Stewart refers to Mayor Emanuel as an A** H***. Um, Jon, have you looked in the mirror lately? And speaking of anal orifices, look at nanny Bloomberg and your new Mayor elect, grand nanny with big girl under pants, de Blasio.

What do you do when your city loses all its bragging rights? You brag even more.

New York does have some bragging rights. New York has bigger and more rats than Chicago, two and four legged versions.

New York has larger cockroaches than Chicago and they are impossible to kill.

New York is a city where you have more to fear from crazed violent celebrities than walking alone at night in Englewood.

Cosmopolitan New York brags about its soaring STD rates.

As for food, who is Jon Stewart to criticize pizza? Who eats cardboard with cheese and sauce on top? In Chicago, we have real pizza, traditional and deep dish. We eat real food.

Some of the best restaurants in the world are located in Chicago. New York is losing culinary ground faster than the Jamaican bob sled team.

Expensive dining does not mean fine dining.

You cannot get a Maxwell Street Polish or pork chop sandwich in New York. Talk about uncivilized.


Chicago Tribune photo

Those cosmopolitan savages do not have real Italian beef sanguiches or even "listen" sammiches (pig ear for the uninitiated).

When it comes to architecture, New York is the second city. Chicago invented the skyscraper. Put that in your cosmopolitan cess pool and smoke it. New York used to be beautiful because of the City Beautiful Movement, created in Chicago.

Chicago comedians are funnier too. Remember, there would be no "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night" if it was not for Chicago's Second City.

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Photo: Peter V. Bella

A New York retail company erased a great part of Chicago history when they renamed Marshall Field to some cheap second rate discount store. Typical New York mentality. Turn greatness into garbage.

Speaking of garbage, New Yorkers put their garbage on the sidewalk. Their "great" urban planners were to dumb to create alleys.

New York can keep their miserable tallest building with the single rabbit ear on top, their cardboard pizza, their clownish mayors, and Jon Stewart's gutter trash mouth.

They can pretend their savagery is cosmopolitan all they want.

Chicago is a real city, with real people, art, culture, food, and class. New York is nothing but a bunch of pretentious hicks, rubes, and bark chewers.

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