Sex liars and politics

While every one was not forgetting 9-11, especially in New York City, other tawdry headlines dominated the New York news on Wednesday. On Tuesday, New York, the city of cosmopolitan savage sophisticates, went to the primary polls to elect their choices to run for various municipal offices.

Two names over shadowed the primary election and the "never forget" 911 ceremonies. Eliot Spitzer, AKA "Client Number Nine" and the "John Who Wears Socks" and Anthony Weiner, AKA "Carlos Danger" and the "Peter Tweeter". Spitzer was running for the position of Comptroller, while Weiner was running for mayor.

Both horn dog politicians tried to re-erect their careers. They both went limp. The real headline grabber was Sydney Leathers, Weiner's most recent Twitter Twat. She tried to crash "Carlos Danger's" election party. She garnered a great deal of publicity showing off her various body shop repairs.

Cosmopolitan and civilized Chicago would never allow such an electoral spectacle. It is not that our politicians, political parties, or population are puritanical in nature. Look, all politicians are liars. How do we know? When ever they move their lips, write something, or hire professional liars called public relation weasels or campaign consultants.

While Chicago politicians may be liars, they are not fools. Chicago is a common sense city. Common sense dictates that public sexual escapades and politics do not mix. If our lying politicians are peter tweeting, hiring filles de joi, or doing the nasty with someone other than their significant other, they keep it well under wraps.

Make no mistake. Chicago had its share of colorful nick names for lovable politicians. Hinky Dink, Bath House, Paddy, Botchy, Mr. Malaprop, Fast Eddie, Short Shanks, and The Hat to name a few. But, none are named Peter Tweeter or Client #9. Some do get other names like Federal Prisoner #xxxxx. But, those are extreme cases.

The closest Chicago came to a real sex scandal was when former Cook County President, George Dunne, was accused of having a continuing menage e trois with two female county employees. That was quickly diffused when it was pointed out that Dunne was single. George Dunne was so respectable that the scandal died a quick death.

Chicago does not splash the sexual escapades of its politicians all over the front pages. This is due to politicians doing whatever it is they do behind closed doors. When rumors or allegations do arise, it is usually due to leaks from other politicians. This is usually done to discourage someone from running or running for reelection. Also, Chicago news media are, ahem, in bed with the politicians. They would rather expose alleged corruption, which is salacious but getting harder to prove every year.

New York city is not the greatest city in the world. Just because they say it does not make it true. That is like some political preacher telling the whole world he is a civil rights leader, when in truth there is no proof he led anything. If you tell a lie long enough there are enough low information and gullible people who will believe anything. Some even work for the news media.

Chicago is a greater city than New York. It always has been and always will be. Do not be fooled by those shameless con men, grafters, charlatans, and frauds claiming New York City is so great. New York is a crumbling, dirty, bug, rat, and vermin infested metropolis. Apologies to bugs, rats, and vermin for comparing them to the population and politicians of New York.

Chicago is a world class city with more class than New York. There is nothing New York has that even comes close to Chicago. Not one thing. We are civilized, cosmopolitan, and sophisticated. Unlike New Yorkers, we do not have to keep bragging about it to make the lies come true.

New York is worse than Sodom and Gomorrah. It is a primitive village inhabited and run by village idiots. It is a caricature of a sit com.

Only in New York would a John and publicly shamed peter tweeter proudly run for public office and claim they are entitled to get elected. Only in New York would they be taken seriously and given so much media attention. Only in New York would one's hooker get a sex advice column and the other's tweeter twat get to make a porn movie and tons of publicity after visiting a body shop. Must have taken a lot of Bondo to fix all those dents and dings.

Chicago, be proud. New York is just a world class sewer. New York is the Second City. Chicago is the best city in the whole world. It is the heart and heart beat of America. We have the best people and the best of everything else.

Compared to Chicago, New York is merely an STD.

 

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