It appears the editors and so-called reporters at Variety have too much time on their hands and no sense of humor. The Onion, "America's Best News Source", published a fake memo by Meredith Artley, Managing Editor Of CNN.Com. The fake memo purported to give reasons why CNN's top story Monday was the dirty flirty twerking Miley Cyrus.
Even Ms. Artley thought the piece was humorous. Being an intelligent woman, Ms. Artley knows how to take a joke.
Not so Variety. If Variety was a real news organization and not staffed by low information people and lazy access hacks, they would have seen the humor in it all. It was satire. Pure simple satire, albeit with a serious tone.
Variety offers little in the way of substantive journalism. It is merely heavy on content provided by all the entertainment public relations weasels and ferrets*, who Variety is in deathly fear of angering.
Variety would be out of business if they had nothing to copy and paste from the weasels and ferrets. They are the entertainment equivalent of the White House Press Corps.
Or is it the other way around? Any way...
For the low information and lazy people at Variety, The Onion is strictly a humor paper. It makes no bones about the fact it is pulling everyone's leg. Their total honesty is why they are "America's Best News Source". People know they are telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the joke is on you truth.
Variety goes even deeper into the miasma when they attempt to explain quality journalism. That is laughable. The Onion should do a humor hit piece of the alleged "quality journalism" variety claims they produce. Maybe because they are in Hollywood they can get away with calling their drek "journalism". After all, Hollywood is populated by egomaniac bobbleheads and their high paid egoist retainers.
In truth, it was no great secret why CNN and other news media entities led with Miley Cyrus all day long. It generated massive traffic. No one needed Variety to make a long tortuous paltry explanation about that. It was so apparent.
The only reason Variety ran this piece was to assuage the weasels and ferrets retained by entertainers and studios. How else does one explain such drivel?
Here is an example of one of the ferrets or weasels when their head exploded over an "unauthorized" piece in the New York Post about Emma Roberts:
(Emma) "Roberts’ publicist did seem a bit panicked, however, when she learned that The Post was writing a story about her client’s recent arrest and party habits.
Roberts’ flack, Christine Tripicchio, called the paper in a fury about the “unauthorized profile,” spewing vulgarities and threats.
“She is not a celebrity — she is an actress!” Tripicchio screamed. “Are you f - - king kidding me? You need to decide whose team you’re on . . . I pity you!”
If Variety would receive a phone call like that heads would roll. How dare their hacks anger a publicist?
Maybe Variety's motto should be "America's Funniest News Source".
*I offer no apologies to weasels and ferrets if their tender sensitivities were injured by being compared to Hollywood flacks. I could care less.
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