Remember last month when a goat head was left at Wrigley Field. It created humorous shock and awe. The case of the goat head is still a mystery. No one is talking.
The City of Chicago Department of Aviation let out a contract to have goats clear vegetation at O'Hare airport. The caprine animals will be tended by a shepherd. The goats will be housed in a tent or a trailer when not mowing the vegetation.
How soon before the angels of Bill Sianis descend upon the shepherd and her flock to announce the glorious birth of the next mayor of Chicago?
According to the Chicago Tribune, Central Commissary Holdings LLC, the owner/ operator of Lincoln Park restaurant Butcher & The Burger, won the $19,500 contract bid to launch the pilot vegetation-management program. 25 goats will be brought to the fields of O'Hare. According to the city a goat can clear 250 square feet of vegetation per day. The 25 goats should be able to clear 7 acres per day. The area they will roam is approximately 20 acres. During the fall and winter months the goats will be brought back to a farm in Barrington.
If our poltroon politicians were really serious about pollution they would allow anyone to own a goat or two to keep their lawns trimmed. Goats are called natures lawn mower.
This is not the first time the city utilized animals to control a problem. Several years ago the city enlisted falcons in an attempt to decrease the pigeon population. While rarely seen the falcons seem to be doing a decent job. The remains of their prey litter the streets and alleys. Of course in Uptown, the alderman seems to be the pigeon slayer.
So, bring on the goats. But beware of the Greeks, Italians, and Mexicans. They can dwindle a herd faster than a shepherd can blink. Goat soup and roasted goat heads with olive oil, garlic, herbs, and green peppers will be on their tables.
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