Posts tagged "children"

My Epiphany epiphany is that I always get sick on Epiphany

My Epiphany epiphany is that I always get sick on Epiphany
No, I didn’t have a massive stroke while typing that title, that’s actually what I wanted to say. I’ve witnessed a trend in my life over the past three years that involves me getting completely and utterly ill the weekend of Epiphany. Epiphany, for those of you who aren’t aware, is the Church Festival that... Read more »

An open letter to all babies: Why do you keep looking at me?

An open letter to all babies: Why do you keep looking at me?
Have you ever experienced that sensation that you’re constantly being watched? I don’t mean in a “Jason Voorhees” is stalking me kind of way, nor even a “is that guy looking at my ass” way. I mean that feeling when an all-seeing, all-knowing being has commanded his foot-soldiers to constantly stare at you when you... Read more »

Hello, my name is Steven and I'm fearlessly addicted to Italian Beef (ChicagoNow's Evening Blogapalooz-Hour: Volume XXXIV)

Hello, my name is Steven and I'm fearlessly addicted to Italian Beef (ChicagoNow's Evening Blogapalooz-Hour: Volume XXXIV)
How many of us lucky Chicagoans have been able to pull up to a Portillo’s or Al’s on any given day and sink our teeth into the glorious creation that is an Italian Beef? That exquisite combination of roast beef stewed in its own juices and excretions for hours, sliced until its paper thin, and served... Read more »
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Harambe the Gorilla, unattentive parents, and the death of common sense

Harambe the Gorilla, unattentive parents, and the death of common sense
If you’ve been living under a rock for the past week, you may not have heard about the news story that has set the rational faction of the community ablaze with consternation. At the Cincinnati Zoo, a week ago, a 17-year-old gorilla named Harambe was shot to death when a three-year-old boy fell into the... Read more »

"What do you know?": The Particular Difficulty of Being Young

"What do you know?": The Particular Difficulty of Being Young
Those of you who made it past the title, I thank you immensely. The truth is, I didn’t set out writing this article to sound like a young prick whining about this inequities. I wrote it because I am, more often than not, blacklisted ideologically because of my age. People act like I’m 14, not... Read more »

The Importance of To Kill a Mockingbird

The Importance of To Kill a Mockingbird
     Flashback to St. Paul Lutheran School. Addison, Illinois. A Seventh Grade classroom, each teenager with a book in their hands. The cover is Pepto-Bismol pink, featuring a gnarled tree with treasures inside, all presided over by a glorious mockingbird. Little did those teenagers know that from the first moment they opened that book,... Read more »
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