Posts in category "Holidays"

Beware of Taylor Swift Syndrome! or "Who needs Valentine's Day?"

Beware of Taylor Swift Syndrome! or "Who needs Valentine's Day?"
Who among you can honestly say that they’ve had a Valentine’s Day that wasn’t absolute ASS? You spend anywhere from one hour to one year figuring out what the hell to get your beloved, either to be met with a strained “thanks” or momentary enthusiasm followed by the item or service you gave them falling... Read more »

MLK Day advice from the first female comedian, Jackie "Moms" Mabley!

MLK Day advice from the first female comedian, Jackie "Moms" Mabley!
Many credit Phyllis Diller with being the first female comedian, but true fans of the genre beg to differ. Thirty years prior to Miss Diller was a woman who, by all means, was a trailblazer for both women, lesbians, and the black community. Jackie “Moms” Mabley was an African American woman who broke the glass... Read more »

My Epiphany epiphany is that I always get sick on Epiphany

My Epiphany epiphany is that I always get sick on Epiphany
No, I didn’t have a massive stroke while typing that title, that’s actually what I wanted to say. I’ve witnessed a trend in my life over the past three years that involves me getting completely and utterly ill the weekend of Epiphany. Epiphany, for those of you who aren’t aware, is the Church Festival that... Read more »
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How Mariah Carey taught me the importance of living a (truly) New Year

How Mariah Carey taught me the importance of living a (truly) New Year
To quote the late, great Joan Rivers, “can we tawk” about the horror film that was Mariah Carey’s performance last night on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve? Carey’s performance heralding 2017 was a textbook personification of Murphy’s Law – “What can go wrong, will go wrong.” Carey took the stage to perform her rendition of the... Read more »

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#7): The Finale or "I think this Christmas is gonna be damn good this year!"

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#7): The Finale or "I think this Christmas is gonna be damn good this year!"
As I prepare for my marathon of singing duties over the next three days, I am taken to reflecting on what they will truly entail. It’s difficult to properly explain my relationship with Christmas. I love the feeling that the season generates and the beautiful transformation that occurs within the hearts of the masses. What I... Read more »

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#5): The Ten Ethel Mertz of Christmas! (or "An I Love Lucy Holiday!")

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#5): The Ten Ethel Mertz of Christmas!  (or "An I Love Lucy Holiday!")
Inevitably around the holidays, we’re forced to endure a wide range of emotions, aggravations, and general malaise, unequaled during any single month. And, as I got to thinking about this sensation, I realized that all of these quirks could be summed up simply by looking at the quality acting of Vivian Vance as Ethel Mertz from... Read more »
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Steven's Cynical Christmas (#4): My Top 5 Holiday Songs!

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#4): My Top 5 Holiday Songs!
This time of the year, we’re deluged with the same music played ad nauseam, over and over and over again. There’s only so much Rudolph and Frosty I can take before it feels like centipedes are gnawing out the back of my eye socket. So, for a rather fun, informal article, I thought I’d count... Read more »

Here are 5 reasons that I'm the modern-day Grinch (and not just because I've got garlic in my soul!)

Here are 5 reasons that I'm the modern-day Grinch (and not just because I've got garlic in my soul!)
Dr. Seuss’s immortal Christmas classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas has been a mainstay of households since the book was released in 1957. The story has become a part of our cultural lexicon, so much so that The Grinch has become the Scrooge of our time. The 1966 Television version, featuring Universal Monster Icon Boris Karloff,... Read more »

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#2): Does the world need a Black Santa Claus?

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#2): Does the world need a Black Santa Claus?
After the shocking upset of Minnesota’s Mall of America being closed on Thanksgiving, it seems they’ve put their foot into the pond of racist piranha yet again! The “Krazy Klumsy Klods” of the highly-regarded internet comment community have chosen this latest upset as their cause célèbre. Mall of America has made the ultimate faux pas of, believe this, hiring a... Read more »
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Steven's Cynical Christmas (#1): Aunt Sheila's Christmas Gifts or "'Tis the Season to Treat Yourself!"

Steven's Cynical Christmas (#1): Aunt Sheila's Christmas Gifts or "'Tis the Season to Treat Yourself!"
It’s that time of the year again, where ulcers are roasting on an open fire and Uncle Gary is nipping at the cat after downing a liter of Schnapps. Where we send ourselves into a merry frenzy and constantly try to out-do not only our loved ones but our co-workers, neighbors, acquaintances, postal workers, and even... Read more »