Who knows food better than Oprah? Miss Winfrey has made a career out of both loving and despising food, as her weight has fluctuated up and down through the decades.
My first in-depth ventures into writing about Miss O was after Kitty Kelley's biography of Oprah was released. I, along with millions of others, was afforded a peek behind the caftan to see what she was really what. What we saw was someone calculating, vicious, and all too eager to be swayed by any flash in the pan fad or personality that crossed her path.
As I read, and subsequently wrote about her, I found that Oprah was the Queen of Artifice. Her facade is constructed and her image glossy, a result of purging reality out of her daily life. Since the end of her phenomenon of a talk show, she has become the queen mother of a life well-lived. Each month her visage graces the cover of O: The Oprah Magazine and, surprisingly, is always able to attain a new height of plastic nothingness.
So, joy of joys, I happened to be meandering through the bookstore and saw this beauty residing front and center, shouting "buy me!":
No sale, Oprah. The last thing I need on my bookshelf is a ghostwritten cookbook with recipes that promise to "cut the fat" and "keep the sizzle." Sadly, this is but a hardcover over-glorified issue of her magazine, with nothing of substance or worth to offer.
And, of course, Oprah took to the talk shows to boast about losing 45 pounds and to extol the virtues of her new book. (I was gonna post a video here, but CBS's video player is apparently from the era of The Flintstones and decided not to work!)
Has there ever been anyone, in the history of the world, who has boasted more about shedding pounds than Oprah? The sad thing is that she gloats and smirks, but she always seems to gain enough to lose it again and flaunt the process all over again. Do you begin to feel like you're being manipulated lately?
Oprah has a unique platform with which to put forth her ideas, yet the artificiality of her entire corporate machine is so contrived that I doubt many rational human beings can honestly say that they connect with her philosophy, apart from the whole "cult of celebrity" aspect.
Robyn Okrant's 2010 book Living Oprah: My One-Year Experiment to Walk the Walk of The Queen of Talk beautifully displays how utterly impossible it is to maintain the lifestyle Oprah presents in her magazine and lifestyle shows. Not only, according to Okrant, does living in Oprah's world cost thousands of dollars every month, it is, in the end, unfulfilling, empty, and lifeless.
Oprah's new cookbook is just another way for the media mogul to get her face out there and prove to the world that, after she "got Obama elected", she is still as relevant as ever! The whole Oprah image is starting to take on the odor of spoiled salami.
For those of us who live in Chicago, there is yet another piece of this twisted media puzzle. Oprah, despite her long and "warm" love for our fair city, left us unceremoniously and has never looked back. She even snubbed us in her "Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend" tour in 2014. The tickets for the event ranged from $99-999 and even with a potential "hometown" sell-out, she couldn't find room in her schedule for a weekend visit to ChiTown.
I think it's about time chuck this tired cliche of a woman into the bin and focus on individuals who truly are human beings and can inspire us, like Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Arianna Huffington, Megyn Kelly, and especially strong black comediennes like Leslie Jones and Loni Love. Oprah is stuck in her self-made, pristine fairyland and, like poor Martha Stewart, will become a joke.
We, as a people, need to stop accepting artificial perfection as a lifestyle and shoving money at these giants of an industry created to promise paradise and give nothing but fluff and PR nonsense. Oprah has been a leader of this movement from its inception, and now the whole mess is about to cave in on her slightly thinner frame.
I have a sneaking suspicion this blog won't be one of Oprah's Favorite Things of 2017?
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In this episode, Jack (The Vegan) and Steven (The Objectivist) discuss the plethora of celebrity deaths this year and debate a very prurient and salacious topic: Sugar Daddies and Financial Domination! Also: Jack hates the Star Wars Prequels, Steven uses an outdated term for little people, and Jack offers up his services!
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