Do you know the difference?

Do you know the difference between wanting to die
And
Wanting to be dead

One is full of suffering and pain
Cruel feelings attached to your loves’ veins

I do not want to die
I want to be dead
Fed alive in my bed and rested in between the days
Of cold remembrance of all the bills I have left to pay
It is a never ending cycle of cost and constant deliverance of shame

Why would I want to die
When I am already the walking dead

Adulthood is a representation of the fears we all hold and the truth we all hide
It’s the dispatch of happiness into the realms of oblivion
And it’s the absolute meaning behind suicide

Adulthood is Freedom
And freedom is restricted
Forced to believe a dream is enough for sustainability
Only to be met by the ghost of J.P Morgan and Company
Freedom halted by the grim reaper of responsibility

I feel like an adult
Not in the sense where I am an adult
But the immense amount of pressure is a combustion from insignificant papers
All thrown into the furnace labeled, Rothschild

Its fire swirls and twirls around your neck and grabs hold of every penny in your check
It wraps its flame around your pride and scorches it black until its died
It takes your face and stains it red, forcing your beautiful porcelain skin to shed
It takes your family and holds it dear, starving them until death is near
It takes your happiness and squeezes it tight, liquidating its very last fight
It sucks you in and spits you out, content but out of spite, it continues to make every one of your pennies count.

We’re born with this flame wrapped around our necks and deprived the water necessary to put it to rest

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