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How To Not Get A Date

So I stop by the grocery store to pick up dinner and a few odds and ends....
 
*PRODUCE SECTION:  A gentleman approaches me and introduces himself to me as Jim.  He proceeds to ask me if I'm involved with anyone because he said I was beautiful.  WOW!  What a nice thing to say to someone out of the blue who's feeling a bit sweaty and hot.  I politely say thanks for the compliment and direct my attention to the cucumbers.  He also just happens to be standing there.
 
*CEREAL AISLE:  Jim passes me in the aisle, winks and smiles.  I smile back as I scan the aisle for my Honet Nut Cheerios.  He asked me again if I could reconsider so he can take me to dinner.  Even if I was attracted to him him, he's way too much. He happens to be looking at Honey Nut Cheerios, too.   Wow! What a coincidence.
 
*AIR FRESHENER AISLE: While immersed in a lavender scented coma, I was immediately startled by a voice.  Take a guess whose voice it was.  Stalker boy now informs me that I smell better than any air freshener out there.  His words were like fainting salts sobering me up after fast spill to the floor.  I didn't turn to look at him because the point of being nice is over.   I'm ready to find someone and tell them that I'm having a problem.  I'm so grossed out and a bit afraid.
 
*HAIR PRODUCTS AISLE:  I'm frantically looking for my shampoo, even though my eyes are darting around for an employee.  I can't find one so I was heading toward the register to find someone...anyone.  OMG!  He turned the corner as I was trying to plan my escape. I turned the cart around only to hear the dreaded voice asking me if I have any sisters he could go out with.  I continue walking away as he's shouting that he loves my hair because it's so beautiful and thick.  UGH!  Why me?
 
I was able to tell someone to watch out for him and requested that somebody walk me to my car.  No matter how many bizarre experiences I have, it still stuns me.  Why are people so darn strange?  Sooo not the way to get a woman!
 
 

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