In desperate need of some fruits and veggies, I made the trek to the County Market just before dinnertime last night. However, I ended up leaving the store with much more than my usual groceries.
It happened in the condiments aisle.
I was traipsing past the different types of salad dressing when something caught my eye: Walden Farms Calorie-Free Marshmallow Dip.
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. HOLD THE PHONE, I thought to myself as my jaw dropped. With sheer delight, I realized that Walden Farms made more than just marshmallow stuff. There was syrup, chocolate syrup, caramel dip, peanut butter, chocolate dip, fruit dip and every kind of salad dressing imaginable. It was all calorie-free.
"This is too good to be true," I whispered. I threw 3 Walden Farms items into my cart and practically ran to checkout. By the time I made it back to my dorm room, I was salivating with the thought of unlimited PB consumption. I dumped it all out on my desk and began to taste.
1. The Peanut Butter
Had the consistency of rubbery mayo. Tasted like cyanide. I immediately gagged.
2. The Marshmallow Dip
Not as horrible as PB, but still horrible. Smelled normal but tasted sour. I wanted to barf.
3. The Chocolate Dip
Poop. Tasted like straight up poop.
I almost cried. I had dropped almost 20 bucks on that stuff. The County Market had deceived me.
And now, I have three jars of CRAP in my mini-fridge. If anyone at this school has a craving for poison, come on over to my dorm room and take this awful food away.
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