Category: Uncategorized

Should I Be Scared For My Life? Bumble and the Creeps Among Us

Should I Be Scared For My Life? Bumble and the Creeps Among Us
I haven’t talked about dating in a while, so let’s dive back in. Since moving to New York I haven’t been on any dates. I asked two people out, both of whom I met in real life (2 people in 2 months!?!?! Some might call me a hero), but they both rejected me (I don’t... Read more »

A Life Update, New York City: Pizza Rat is Now My Neighbor

A Life Update, New York City: Pizza Rat is Now My Neighbor
I’m sure all of you have been wondering where I’ve been. My posts went from being infrequent to non-existent, and you’ve been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for a new post. Well, I have been busy over the last few months planning and executing my move to New York. Yes, you read... Read more »

Author Commentary on My Hit Third Grade Unpublished Story: Modeling Isn't the Best

Author Commentary on My Hit Third Grade Unpublished Story: Modeling Isn't the Best
When I was in elementary school, I was convinced I was going to become a published author. Not later in life, but right then. Lucky for me, my best friend promised to pass along my work to his step-mom, who happened to be a publisher. He told me she would definitely publish me. Surprisingly he didn’t follow through, or... Read more »
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My Sister-of-the-Bride Wedding Speech

My Sister-of-the-Bride Wedding Speech
My sister got married last week. I decided to make her special day all about me, so I gave a speech. Here’s the video of it: Wedding Speech Video And here’s how the speech was supposed to go: Thank you everyone for coming. I was a little disappointed to discover that this year and a half of planning... Read more »

All My Stupid Thoughts That Aren't Funny Enough to be Tweets

All My Stupid Thoughts That Aren't Funny Enough to be Tweets
Wow. It’s been a long time since I last posted on here. I’m sorry to all my devoted fans who check this page every day for any updates. I’m lazy. So today, instead of writing something new, I figured I’d recycle my notes section on my iPhone. These are some of the stupid thoughts I’ve... Read more »

Dear Kayla, (a letter to an eighth grade survivor)

Dear Kayla, (a letter to an eighth grade survivor)
Enclosed is a letter I wrote to Kayla, the focus of the movie Eighth grade, written and directed by Bo Burnham. Dear Kayla, Congrats on finishing eighth grade. I know it wasn’t easy, but you made it. You made it past the glares and the snarky comments, whispers and eye rolls. You made it past... Read more »
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5 Reasons I Should be the Next Bachelorette

5 Reasons I Should be the Next Bachelorette
You may have seen my recent submission to The Bachelor. It got a great response, but unfortunately Chris Harrison has yet to contact me about a callback. With the Chicago open casting call happening tomorrow, I’m here to let the ABC executives know that I can take a hint. They clearly think I’d be better suited for... Read more »

Part IV of Rock Bottom: My Year in a Cult

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life”- Charles Dederich. I’m sure you’ve heard this saying over the years. It means something different to everyone, but to me it means my future is not determined by what happened yesterday; my future is determined by what I do today and the rest of... Read more »

Anton Yelchin, You Were My Surrogate

I was really sad when Anton Yelchin died. He had been the answer to, “Who’s your favorite actor?” for a few years, as well as the background on my computer, so you could say it hurt more for me than most. But I’ve started to wonder why he was my favorite actor. In all honesty,... Read more »
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Meet My Friend, the Friend Zone

Wow, what a whirlwind the past few weeks have been. Full of dates, dating app message exchanges, and blog posts. You probably think I’m the girl who has everything: A hot bod, great personality, and guys flooding my inbox. And you’d be right. But sometimes I get friend-zoned, just like you. Usually this happens with... Read more »