Don't let this happen to you. Never, and I mean ever, apply for a job at dawn with a cold and little sleep because you might mess up and not get the job.
Here is but one example, if you will.
It is essential that you hire me to write for your publication. I grew up in the area, have a love for the community, which is why I moved back from LA, and I like to write.
Aside from one theatre review, most of my work has been in the opinion genre, though I am interested in branching out. For now, the links to the following clips will tell you more about who I am and what I can do for your online publication.
Thanks and I will call in about a week for your thoughts or to set up a time to meet.
What was I thinking? “It is essential that you hire me?” “Aside from one theatre review…?” I was only being tongue-in-cheek when I wrote that, but because of the lack of sleep, I thought it was all right (again from the lack of sleep), so I emailed it. Then, per usual, I proofread the darned thing after it went out and found some cracks, chinks and crevices.
This is not the first, and I don’t think it will be the last time I’ve done something like that. One of my first jobs out of college was at a company that distributed fish to restaurants. As the receptionist/ sometime typist, I had to write how the customer wanted the order delivered, either via cash-on-delivery, or COD, or via Pick up. One day I accidentally hit a “d” instead of a “p” for pick up and came up with “dick up.” That wasn’t bad enough in itself, but I didn't proofread it and put it in the out box, which the office busybody had access to.
A few minutes later, she pranced from desk to desk and carrying a piece of paper while everyone looked in my direction and laughed. Did she have the courtesy to use white out or show the paper to me? Of course not and that is how she became the office busybosy.
Most recently, I emailed an editor and told him that I liked his video about “growing a bear,” and that the accompanying Irish music made me want to "do a jog.” After I hit send, I reread it and realized that it is impossible to grow a bear as they can grow themselves and that the Irish music wouldn’t make me want to do a jog but a jig.
And this is why to this day I refrain from applying for administrative assistant type jobs. The merry go round is too hard on my soul.
Hopefully, this time around, this editor will do more than delete it, post it on his wall as an example of what’s out there, or worse, use it at an employment seminar under the cautionary category. I will be amazed to get through the door outside of working as a UPS driver. Heaven help me. Pray for me. Pray for us all. Pray for the planet. Thank you, et cetera.