Scott Walker, Mrahahaha

Being a civil servant is one of the best jobs for a lifetime of security and relative ease and comfort.  The perks are good.  The hours are steady, and a being could spend the day shuffling the same set of papers from one pile to another and still get paid.  In short, it is employment... Read more »

John Derbyshire was Right, Damn it

One of my recent pet peeves is that I hate phoniness and lies.  I am, however, all in favor of good manners, of waiting your turn in line, of not budging, of saying please and thank you and of not stealing anything, but I hate the average lie. That’s why I haven’t yet married because... Read more »

Getting out of Dodge, a Cautionary Tale

I should have known that getting out of Dodge wasn’t going to be easy, that it wasn’t going to be perhaps without some drama, some karma or some fanfare.  I was leaving the Golden State, dagganbit, the home of Marilyn Monroe, James Dean and Pixar Animation.  A couple of things led to a dicey exit: ... Read more »
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Not Your Average Bear(s)

I consider myself an intelligent being.  I can line divide, do basic dance steps, drive a car and write a check. But lately, I’ve been wondering if my two canines don’t have one over on me because no matter how I try to plot and plan things out, they always come up with an angle... Read more »

Geraldo Rivera: Kiddo, you were right

Ernest T. Bass, the town Hillbilly on the “Andy Griffith Show,” shared a tidbit about possums  in Miss Krump’s fifth grade classroom during an episode when he tried to get an  grade school diploma.  But as fate would have it, he was also talking about life and many liberals as well. “I’ll set you straight... Read more »

Sage Advice for Job Seekers

Dear Readers: Don’t let this happen to you.  Never, and I mean ever, apply for a job at dawn with a cold and little sleep because you might mess up and not get the job. Here is but one example, if you will. Dear Serge: It is essential that you hire me to write for... Read more »

How I Flunked Self-Defense, a true story

I started taking Israeli self-defense, or Krav Maga, after being stalked by a crazed lesbian.  It is a long but true story. Not that I, in the spirit of political correctness, have anything against lesbians or crazy people.  It’s just that I don’t like that kind of attention, be it from anyone, a man, woman... Read more »

George Zimmerman: Current Poster Boy for Racism

If I hear one more word about George Zimmerman, the current poster boy for racism, I am going to cancel any future donations to the NAACP.  (Not that I was planning on making anyway, but that isn’t the point here.) Given Zimmerman’s background and propensity for violence, shooting 17 year-old Trayvon Martin may have been... Read more »

Dear Kind and Loving Chicago Landlords

Dear Kind and Loving Landlord: I am a former Chicago expat, who went somewhere over the rainbow to the never-never land of Los Angeles, but who’s now returned, and I have a humble request.  Being a living, breathing organism, I need a place to live.  Scratch that.  My dogs, Mookie Moo and Bitsy Boo, and I... Read more »

The C'est la Vie School of Classroom Management

I’ve always been studying the fine art of swearing.  Maybe it’s because I heard some real choice ones growing up; maybe it’s because I know their healing powers in staving off  ulcers and the like, or maybe it’s because in the end, there’s nothing like the power of a heartfelt  swearword to make the world seem... Read more »