Posts in category "sobriety"

That's Why I'm Here: On Vulnerability and Courage and Gratitude

Some days I am so steeled against the world, it’s a wonder I even feel the rain on my face.  Other days, like today, I am cracked right open.  So raw and vulnerable that I may not function as a human being but rather just a ball of electric feelings so exposed to the elements... Read more »

My Last Drink was a Bottle of Nyquil 14 Years Ago

It snuck up on me this year.  This Soberthday.  This 14 year anniversary of the day I said ENOUGH and finally stopped all the bullshit lies and asked for help with my alcoholism and then took the help being offered to me seriously.  The day I chose life on life’s terms. That day I walked... Read more »

What I Really Mean When I Say Good Morning

In the still dark quiet before they wake each morning, I hear the rustle.  I hear the two distinctive voices saying “Mama?” “Good morning Mama.” “Good morning Gah.” “Oh good morning Bebe.” As if it had been weeks since we’ve all seen each other, though it’s only been a nighttime, we are delighted by the... Read more »

Growth Through Regression: The Longer I Live, the Less I Know for Sure

I know I support marriage equality for all.  I know black lives matter.  I know I support women having a choice in their well being and the power to control what happens with their own bodies. I know at heart I lean toward being a socialist, liberal, tree hugging hippie.  I know that addicts and... Read more »

Free for the Taking

I walked into the office kitchen this morning to find this - My immediate reaction was to laugh. My next reaction was to find a bag and a way to sneak it all out. And then I went into the ladies room. And I laughed some more.   I look so normal (I DO COME... Read more »

Drink the Fancy Drinks Already

I have these fancy drinks that have been in my fridge for a year.  Over a year technically, but yeah, a year. The lemon ones my best girl brought over and I didn’t drink them that night and so there they’ve sat.  The blood orange one was for Christmas or New Years and I just... Read more »

What it feels like to be an Alcoholic

At first it takes away all your fear.  That drink just warms you all over and suddenly you have confidence and you are the girl you always wanted to be.  All your qualms about being with other people, with men, just vanish. Melt away.  You think you’ve found your golden ticket.  The answer to all... Read more »

How one hour completely turns my life around to gratitude

What can happen in one hour that is so completely transformative, so entirely life changing, so utterly unbelievable? I walk into a room with other like minded individuals.  We don’t all agree on everything, hell on most things, but on this one thing, we agree we need each other. I walk into a room of... Read more »

This is what happened when I learned to love my imperfect self

At almost 42 years of age, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin, soul, heart and mind. This is what happened when I learned to love my imperfect self. I can look folks in the eye and see them for who they are right at that moment.  There is no wishing they were different or... Read more »

The Girl on the Train Made Me Remember: Blackouts are Not Normal

I usually don’t see myself taking a drink.  It’s more the aftermath. The stretch of time between being drunk and what happens next is what is most terrifying.  All of a sudden in what seems like a 5 minute period of time, I’m back on my face with nothing to cling to and nothing to... Read more »
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    I'm a grateful drunk who doesn't drink (sobriety date 10/4/2001), a smoker who doesn't smoke and a mom of boy/girl twins from IVF born 1/7/13. I'm grateful for the good the bad and the ugly. It's great to be alive!

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