Posts in category "Humor"

20 Things 2-Year-Olds Want from Santa

“What can I get for my 2 year old for Christmas?”  Really?  REALLY?  2-year-olds, at least mine, have no concept of what they want other than what is right in front of them.  They want what their siblings have or what we say they cannot have.  In that spirit, and going off what I wrote... Read more »

How to Stay Happy Joyous and Free During the Holidays as a Sober Person

Because I’m an alcoholic and always will be, I would really like to be able to drink at these holiday parties I’m going to in the coming weeks. But what happens then?  I fall into the Christmas tree.  It’s happened. TWICE.  Two separate years yours truly fell drunkenly into the company Christmas tree.  It’s really... Read more »

Not the most perfect house on the block

We landed in a vat of chocolate with this new house.  I mean, sure it flooded a month after we moved in and we had to replace half the roof already, but who doesn’t have some immediate problems when they move in, am I right? We’ve fixed the problems and know what we are dealing... Read more »

26 Very Important Things I Learned in College

College is only 4 years out of our hopefully long lives, so why does it play so prominently into the rest of our lives?  I mean, I’m not a sports gal, so I have no real allegiance to any team like so many of my weirdo friends do. Why does it still pop up in... Read more »

Helpful House Hunting Tips

My dear sweet husband and I are house hunting.  GET OUT.  No you get out.  I KNOW.  Crazy, right? Now, while it’s terribly exciting to think of living somewhere that actually allows my babes more than a few feet to circle like caged beasts, it’s also terrifying and stressful and panic inducing. SO, while my... Read more »

The 6 Best Jobs for 1-Year-Olds

We’ve been polishing up resumes over here as it’s almost their 1st birthday and let’s be honest, they need to start contributing.  Without going into too much career testing, because who has time for that really, we’ve come up with the 6 best jobs for 1-year-olds based on their natural skills and inclinations. Ahem. Taste... Read more »

A Seat at the Bar, with Augusten Burroughs

Excuse me.  Yes, I’m terribly sorry to interrupt you and your sparkling water drinking at this bar that I know you loathe because, well, we don’t imbibe anymore and this kind of thing is a big fat bore, but I need you to know a few things so you’ll just have to indulge me.  It’s ok,... Read more »

What One-Year-Old Twins Want from Santa

Inspired by this fantastical post right here, I decided we needed a What One-Year-Old Twins Want from Santa post.   Dear Santa, We know that you are very busy, but since you were so kind to us when we met you just last week , we have worked non-stop to compile a list as you requested.  You don’t... Read more »

5 Reasons to Fully Embrace the Holidays This Year

It would be easy to snarl and say, “Hey!  It’s November 3rd and Schmolidays stuff is up already?” as I have done every other year.  But not this year.  This year is altogether different.  Because this year, we have babies! Here are 5 reasons I’ve decided that this year, there will be so much damn... Read more »

5 Reasons Single Parents Are Better Than Me

I am not a single parent.  If I play my cards right, hopefully I won’t ever have to be.  But I am for a few days as my dear sweet dumpster husband is off in Vegas burning through our whole $5 worth of savings for his annual boy’s weekend.  I’m so happy he gets to do... Read more »
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    When my husband and I were desperately trying to have a baby, I kept wishing I would just happen upon a baby. Therefore, "I Want a Dumpster Baby" blog was born. All babies are precious and worthy of so much love! I'm a grateful drunk who doesn't drink, a smoker who doesn't smoke and a mom of boy/girl twins from IVF (the devil science brought us babies made of hope, love and science) born January 7th, 2013. Now the blog is called "I Got a Dumpster Family!" because, well, I did. I work as a Big Shot (aka Admin) in a full time job that I love and I'm grateful for the good the bad and the ugly. If life were fair, I would be dead, and I would miss this life beyond my wildest dreams. It's a great day to be alive!

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