I Hate People Who Don't Pick Up After Their Dogs

Let's just put it out there---people who don't pick up after their dogs are a*sholes.

Scratch that.  They're lazy self entitled a*sholes.

And I'm not talking about people with mobility problems.  I'm talking about you able bodied pukes who can bend over and do the right thing but refuse to.

Now that the snow has melted, everyone has to reap the benefits of your shitty (HA!) pet parenting by either scraping it off our shoes, moping it off of our floors, stopping our dogs from eating it or raking it out of our gardens.

Thanks a lot, d*ckheads.

You took on the responsibility to care for another living creature but you can't take a Jewel bag and clean up after your pooch?  And make no mistake, your neighbors see you.  We see that you're so inconsiderate that you let your dog use our lawns as a toilet but you can't be bothered to extend the responsibility of being a pet owner to also being a good neighbor.


Aside from it being the right thing to do, there are several other reasons why you should be a responsible adult and pick up after your dog.

1.  No one wants to see dog sh*t on their lawns, in the park or in their garden.  If we wanted to look at sh*t, we'd study our own after we drop the kids off at the pool.

2.  No one wants to smell dog sh*t.  Nothing's worse than stepping in a big pile of poo and realizing you're the one on the L who's stinking up the place.

3.  If rats have nothing to eat, guess what dumba*ses?  They'll eat the dog sh*t that you can't be bothered to pick up.

4.  Not cleaning up after your dog in the City of Chicago is against the law.

And for those of you who think that dog sh*t if source of fertilizer for vegetable gardens?  Think again.

Composted dog poo is the only "fertilizer" that is safe to use in a vegetable garden.  I'm betting that if you're too lazy to pick up your dog's sh*t in the first place, that actually taking the time to compost it isn't high on your list of priorities either.

So stop trotting out that old tired line.

The people who are guilty of this might read this post and change their ways, but I'm betting most of the repeat offenders won't.  After all, they're entitled a*sholes.  Why should they inconvenience themselves with the health, safety and comfort of others?

Thanks for making the spring and summer months in Chicago one big game of hopscotch.

I hope karma shovels at you what you so lazily refuse to pick up.


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