Sir, Stop Hitting On My Boyfriend

Sunday I had the rare pleasure of spending time with my boyfriend.

He works a great deal, so it's rare that we actually get to spend time with each other on the weekends much less the luxury of watching a Bears game together.

We went to a local bar a few blocks from his house.

This bar also happens to sit on the edge of  "Boystown" at the corner of Roscoe and Broadway.  Despite its location, the bar is "straight" and accepts and welcomes everybody.

We have both been there numerous times.  It's a wonderful neighborhood bar.  The bartenders know us.  And yes, there is an interesting mix of people that include straight, gay, lesbian and the transgendered.

Everyone sits, drinks, plays darts and watches the Bears.

But this Sunday, inappropriateness would be on the menu.

When my boyfriend got up to go to the bathroom, an older gentleman sitting to my right tapped me on the shoulder and asked if my boyfriend was gay.  I replied not only was he not gay but he was my boyfriend.

I should have known trouble was brewing with this character when he continued his line of questioning with, "Are you sure?"


A few things ran through my mind at the moment---This gentleman is older, harmless and a little in his cups.  He'll leave soon and I'll have a good story to tease my boyfriend about.

While the gentleman was "in his cups," he definitely wasn't harmless.

When I thought he was leaving for good, I told my boyfriend about the earlier incident.  He pretty much laughed it off, but it did explain the long hard stares he said he had received from the gentleman.

You know the stares I'm talking about.

Unfortunately, the gentleman that found my boyfriend so attractive decided to stay.

For the next hour or so this man proceeded to give my boyfriend the "fuck me eyes" from behind my back and wrote him a note that he wanted to bartender to deliver.

It was at that point my inner sister girl started to simmer.

I get it---my boyfriend is a good looking man.  Frankly, I don't care that he gets admiring looks walking down the street.  He's easy on the eyes.  I also understand that with him living in east Lakeview, on occasion someone will ask him if he's gay.

He responds no in his usual live and let live manner and goes on about his business.  No hostility or attitude needed.

Plus he did go with me to my salsa contest (the food, not the dance) in an actual gay bar so he seems comfortable in most situations.

He continued to endure this man's come hither looks throughout our conversation.  He didn't lose his temper, he didn't ask to move.

But when the man came up and wedged himself in-between us, grabbed my boyfriend's  head and tried to kiss him that's when shit got real.

It took everything in me not to take off my earrings and put my hair back.

'Cause now this man crossed the line and was not only being disrespectful to my boyfriend, but he was also being disrespectful to  me.

This wasn't about acting like an ass and being drunk.  This wasn't about making a fool of yourself with unwanted advances.  This was about dismissing my presence and what I told you earlier.

Moreover, you put your motherf*cking hands on my boyfriend with me sitting right there.

Even the boldest of women won't go up to your man and try to snake him with you sitting right next to him.

My boyfriend quickly got the man's hands off of him, pinned his arms to his side and told him that he wasn't gay and didn't appreciate his actions.  He continued by telling Mr. Handsy to turn around, go away and sit down.

I'm glad he showed restraint while handling the situation because I was contemplating knocking the shit out of that inappropriate ass.

Luckily for him I adore the bartenders and it's incredibly difficult to job hunt with a felony assault trial pending.

But make no mistake, I was pissed.

When all of this happened---in full view of the bartenders, might I add---I made the "cut him off" motion.  I then said to the on duty bartender, "You get him under control before I do.  We've already had two strikes, there will not be a third."

Please understand that this is not an indictment of our gay brothers and sisters or gay culture.  It is an indictment on a man who happens to be gay and acted inappropriately.

In my experience, two of the rules of living and playing in Lakeview and Boystown are acceptance and being respectful.

I just wish the man in the bar had received that memo.


If you liked this post, "like" I Hate My Developer on Facebook




Leave a comment