Stop Wishing Me A Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day makes me cringe.

Not because of the day itself but because random people will wish me "Happy Mother's Day" all day long.

It's irritating.

I realize that as a woman of a certain age it's easy to assume that I have children.  That there are war stories of running down children, changing diapers and wiping noses.

I have no stories because I have no children.

Assuming that you can raise another person to be a good, kind valuable member of society is pretty ballsy to begin with.  Children really are a blessing---a terribly frustrating and complicated blessing---but a blessing nonetheless. I applaud you ladies who have taken on the task of motherhood.

'Cause it looks exhausting.

When someone wishes me a "Happy Mother's Day" I usually return their greeting with a blank stare.  If I'm really pissy, I reply back with a "I'm no one's mother."

Additionally, Mother's Day is always challenging as my own mother is no longer alive.  I just love to be reminded of that multiple times on a designated Sunday in May.

I can only imagine how women who have lost a child, or in some cases children, respond to that greeting.  I would think it's like ripping open a painful wound every time they hear it.

Yes, you mean well---I understand that.  Not every woman is a mother and if she is a mother there may be painful memories of loss.  You don't know.

So please, I'm begging you, leave me in peace today.  Don't assume I'm a mother.

That greeting should be reserved for those who you know are actual mothers.  Give those ladies the glory.



Filed under: Mother's Day

Tags: Mother's Day, Musings, Personal


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  • I heart you, Woodlawn Wonder. Happy day to you. Every day. MTM.

  • I find it weird that people wish people other than their mother, wife, or person along those lines a Happy Mother's Day. I wish my Mother and Grandmother a HMD; however, I would never extend that greeting to anyone else, regardless as to whether they are a mother or not.

  • It's become ubiquitous--I hear it all week in the check out lane at Walgreen's. At the grocery store. At Macy's. On the sidewalk. People! You aren't my child! Stop it! And why is it now drawn out for a full week of greetings? And every time someone says it to me I look at them and wonder, do you have any idea whether I have kids or not? Do you have any idea how inadvertently offensive this may be? Is it rude in this moment for me to say nothing in response? Because I'm going to say nothing. I'm all tangled up wondering about all of the above.

    I'm totally with you on this WW.

  • That's impossible.

  • this happened to me all weekend and at first I thought I'd be offended but in the end I just let it go and thanked them for their sentiments......

    People are trying to be nice. Maybe they see a smiling, kind face and assume "well maybe she's a mom".

    I understand that it can hurt to be reminded of a loss at this time. But if your child has passed, you are still their mom. You didn't become a non-mom just like that person didn't just cease from history.

  • I think this thing of wishing HMD to every female over 15 is relatively recent. I first noticed it a few years ago when I was bombarded with this in a department store. One clerk even said, "I guess your children are happy you're out buying your own gift.". I don't go to church on Mother's Day any more because I feel too awful when the priest asks the mothers to come forward for a special blessing and I have to stay behind. This year I decided to boycott malls and grocery stores during the days before MD. I figured I would be safe in a home improvement store, but no such luck. Two clerks in different parts of the store brightly asked if I were having a great M'sD. Yes, I know they're just trying to be nice. When I finally accepted the fact that my husband and I could not have children, I vowed that I would not let it ruin my life and that I wouldn't be bitter. I don't want to be pitied, but I also don't appreciate having the wound ripped open every year.

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    Early it is. So late it will be.

  • While today is not Mother's Day and I know I am several days late, I completely agree with this statement. Somethings should not be assumed, and I learned this the hard way, when I offered my seat on a crowded bus to a woman that I thought was pregnant. After the initial stare then she finally answered, "umm, I am NOT pregnant.

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