Category: grief

Only the Strong Survive - FAKE NEWS

As I sit here on this grey, rainy day, I reflect on all I’ve been strong through. Alcoholism, infertility, anxiety, depression, IVF, pregnancy, childbirth, being a mom of twins, working full time, recovery. Yes, I am strong as hell. But that doesn’t always serve me so well, now does it. I’m dealing with work situations... Read more »

Can We Just Skip Mother's Day

I miss my mom.  She lives far away these days and while technology and airplanes make life more manageable for those we miss, I miss her every day. I miss being able to just go over there and hang out with her. I took it for granted when she was close by for so long... Read more »

I think I have a problem with drinking

I get this a lot. From friends, family, friends of friends, co-workers, people who read my blog and write me to share their stories.  People say, “I don’t know how to start this so I guess I’ll just say, I think I have a problem with drinking”. If you were to look in my inbox... Read more »
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Guns and the Definition of Insanity

I was texting with a mom recently about a play-date we are arranging and it never ever escapes me that I have this conversation now pretty regularly with other parents if we are visiting or they are visiting our home. This is not our parents playdate. Hell, our parents didn’t even know what a playdate was,... Read more »

Bottle Spotting Bingo

There’s this sick game I play and maybe you do it too. It’s probably mostly alcoholics like me who can spot a bottle a mile away. Like a twisted game of booze bingo.  And then I make up stories of the people who left them there. The discarded. The self medication aftermath. Is there a reason... Read more »

2016 Was a Flaming Pile of Garbage - For This I am Thankful

I can’t seem to form much in the way of a hopeful end of the year post.  2016 can hit the road and take with it all the awful shit it brought our way.  As god awful as this year has been, I’m also thankful for all the hard work, all the hope, all the... Read more »
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If You Woke Up Today in Disbelief About the Election Results

I am in shock.  I am entirely saddened.  I am angry and confused and feel like I’ve been duped. Because, as my friend Jane wrote last night: This feels like: Fuck you, women don’t matter. Fuck you, black and brown people don’t matter. Fuck you, non-Christians don’t matter. Fuck you, trans and gay and bi... Read more »

I Never Wanted Kids

I rarely take taxis anymore, but when I do I get extremely nauseous. The minute I enter, maybe even before my feet hit the floor, the bile rises to my throat before I can ask, “can you please roll my window down back here?” Why do all taxis smell the same?  It’s not an altogether terrible... Read more »

Just because I'm not shouting doesn't mean I don't rage

We with the tender hearts. It hurts to watch.  To listen.  To read.  It hurts my tender heart to feel the hate and the fear in the words behind the snarled teeth and the overbearing gestures.  The shots fired and received.  The venom and the sharing of it wide and far. My heart was not... Read more »
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Because Life is Incredibly Sad - We Buy Tiny Bottles of Lotion

There’s a bittersweet tinge to the air right now.  As I weep happy tears scrolling through all the back to school photos, I think of the family I met yesterday at the mall. My girl and I were out on a mama/daughter morning – you know, pancakes out and walking around the outdoor mall.  The... Read more »