Category: gender roles

Things I want my daughter to know as we smash the patriarchy

This was in my daughters art pile from school yesterday. It’s not “pretty”. It’s tough and a little sad but with a tiny smile and achingly beautiful. Just like my girl. I asked her who it was and she immediately said, “OH THAT’S ME”. Of course I added the wording, but when I saw her self-portrait... Read more »

Learning how to hurt and then how to heal at age 4 and 44

There’s a pattern to their fights. To their skirmishes. To their kerfuffles. They are four. They are twins. They wrestle and touch each other CONSTANTLY until it gets to be too much and somebody snaps. When they push each other down and call each other names and maybe even bust out an I HATE YOU, I... Read more »

An Open Letter to Makers, Sellers, and Buyers of the Drunk Wives Matter Tumbler

“It’s like mockery, entitlement, and tone deafness all at once. It’s like spinning plates only the plates are made of actual garbage.” – my kick ass favorite friend Terry. An Open Letter to Makers, Sellers, and Buyers of the Drunk Wives Matter Tumbler: I found your ad for your “Drunk Wives Matter” tumbler on my... Read more »
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Love and Marriage and Mold-A-Ramas

Every time we go to the zoo, we have to get a Mold-A-Rama. I think it’s a law in Chicago.  We grew up with the molded plastic animals, warm to the touch after coming out the machines and highly collectible. Just the waft of them can spark up nostalgia, and if there’s one thing my husband... Read more »

Because Boys Can Be Ballerinas Too: Expectations of Gender Roles in Small Children

I really didn’t think expectations of gender roles in small children was a big issue but after posting a picture of my kids on a twins forum where both my 4 year old girl AND boy happened to have a barrette in their hair, I was asked this question recently regarding my kids and how they... Read more »

How to Persist in Kindness while Living in a Culture of Meanness

As we got out of our car last weekend to go to a new tumbling class (which both kids refused to do – but that’s another story), the woman in the car in front of us came over and said, “I’m random acts of kindness-ing you” and handed me a parking meter stub to put... Read more »
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Wear the Costumes, Save the Day

I admit it. I was hesitant. I thought that they should be wearing their costumes only at home and for certain “costume appropriate” occasions. But I’ve come around as they frequently dive into their costume bin from grandma and friends who keep sending us hand me down costumes. I mean, when is a costume NOT appropriate?... Read more »

My 4 Year Old Daughter Asked to Cut Her Hair Super Short

For roughly a year, my daughter has been asking to get her hair cut really short.  I believe it began last year when her twin brother got his first haircut at a real, brick and mortar shop.  She didn’t because I continued to cut her hair.  Just a pageboy, with bangs, and I could still... Read more »

In Defense of Nannies and Their Employers

There was a video making the rounds recently about a dad doing an interview from home when his kids busted in and all hell broke loose.  The mom ran in after the kids and it was precisely what it feels like and looks like working from home with small kids.  The internet had a field... Read more »
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How to be Popular and Win Friends in Mom Groups

I have been added to a few online mom groups since I’ve had these babies.  I’m on a couple twin groups and a couple mom groups in Chicago.  I am on a car seat group and a stroller resale group.  I am on a few online garage sale groups.  I’m even on a couple sober... Read more »