Posts in category "Dumpster Husband"

Pacifier Addiction: Letting Go of the Paci with the Help of a Pink Build-a-Bear

Our kids just turned four (not sure if you heard). From early on, our girl favored a pacifier (paci), while our boy favored his lovey (Dida). I never really gave a rip what they used while they slept, as long as they weren’t harmful or impacting their health and growth.  All was fine according to dentists... Read more »

Beauty and the Beast Named Anxiety

Always lurking.  Looming.  The looming dread.  The looming fear.  The looming unknown. People say “get out of your comfort zone” and let me tell you that most of my life is spent getting out of my comfort zone because I am never entirely comfortable.  But the difference today is that I know myself enough to know... Read more »

A GrubHub Delivery Was the Key to Finding My Christmas Spirit

The water seeped through the kitchen floor from the refrigerator water line to the ceiling of the basement and then flooded the floor.  So the crews came in and did the same thing they did two years ago when we flooded. That time it was from the outside, and this time it came from INSIDE... Read more »

If You Woke Up Today in Disbelief About the Election Results

I am in shock.  I am entirely saddened.  I am angry and confused and feel like I’ve been duped. Because, as my friend Jane wrote last night: This feels like: Fuck you, women don’t matter. Fuck you, black and brown people don’t matter. Fuck you, non-Christians don’t matter. Fuck you, trans and gay and bi... Read more »

Why this Chicago Cubs World Series is the Hope We Need Right Now

Let’s set aside the fact that it’s been a hot minute since we’ve been here in the World Series.  I mean, A HOT MINUTE Y’ALL. Let’s set aside the decades of heartbreak this team has inflicted on it’s fans. Let’s set aside the notion that there was some kind of curse on this team involving... Read more »

Thankful Books: Teaching Gratitude to Kids and Their Grown Ups in 5 minutes a Day

A lot of folks pray, and that’s great.  We don’t pray in the religious sense in our home, but we do stop each night for five minutes to talk about and make note of what we are thankful for.  We have two 3 year olds and we talk about gratitude and thankfulness often in our home. I... Read more »

I Never Wanted Kids

I rarely take taxis anymore, but when I do I get extremely nauseous. The minute I enter, maybe even before my feet hit the floor, the bile rises to my throat before I can ask, “can you please roll my window down back here?” Why do all taxis smell the same?  It’s not an altogether terrible... Read more »

Because Life is Incredibly Sad - We Buy Tiny Bottles of Lotion

There’s a bittersweet tinge to the air right now.  As I weep happy tears scrolling through all the back to school photos, I think of the family I met yesterday at the mall. My girl and I were out on a mama/daughter morning – you know, pancakes out and walking around the outdoor mall.  The... Read more »

The Truth About Vacations with Kids

A year ago I wrote this post for my dad’s 70th birthday – Charging into the Atlantic – My Dad and Cape Cod.  Shortly after my whole family read that post and got all fired up about missing the Cape so much, my dad (in a very Oprah like manner) announced that WE WERE ALL... Read more »

Kids Will Absolutely Ruin the Marriage You Once Had

Marriage can be hard in the best of circumstances, and without kids.  Kids will absolutely ruin the marriage you once had.  And yet we keeping sticking around and asking for more.  What the hell is the matter with us? “Having kids sent a tornado through your marriage, then made you happy for the devastation. Even... Read more »