I MADE A MOM FRIEND TODAY!
Because I am now an expert at mom friending, I shall give you 10 foolproof steps to make a mom friend. You're welcome.
- Pay close attention to social media. When you see pictures pop up on a photographer's page (who took your family pictures too!) of a cute family that you know you've seen in the neighborhood, connect the dots that you've seen this woman on your train for a couple years now.
- Super awkwardly lean over the aisle one morning in the midst of a crowded train car and say, "HEY I SAW YOUR PICTURES ON SO AND SO'S PAGE AND SHE TOOK OUR PICTURES TOO AND THEY ARE GREAT PICTURES. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY YOU HAVE."
- Cue your husband diving behind a seat trying to hide his embarrassment.
- Don't get her name or give any more information just run off the train and say, "SEE YOU LATER".
- Let about a week go by and then pick a super hot day to get extra sweaty on your walk to the train.
- Right when you get to the station and you're waiting for the train, approach your new victim - I mean friend - saying "I PROMISE I AM NOT CREEPY, BUT...." and strike up a totally normal conversation but say something like, "I REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE PREGNANT" which was like two years ago so this woman really knows you're not creepy at all.
- Watch your husband throw himself on the train tracks to avoid further embarrassment.
- Board the train and sit across the aisle from your new friend and chat the entire way only to find out that she swears a lot, drinks Dunkin Donuts coffee and has exactly the same wheels spinning in her head as you do about all the same stuff we moms spin about.
- GET THAT MOMS DIGITS.
- Seek her out on social media again looking through mutual friends to find her, only to send her requests to connect instead of actually being creepy this time.
- BONUS - Actually talk to her again.
If I muster enough gumption, there are times I can hold my social anxiety at bay and really go for it, and this was one of those times. If I hype myself up enough, it's possible. I feel exhausted afterwards, but there is a high involved. Anyone else get this?
My husband was actually not mortified. Ok, maybe a little, but he was supportive and proud of me I could tell. Those are the moments that remind me that he is my lobster. And this new friend, well, it turns out we have so much in common, it would be a crime NOT to be friends.
This is new to me, this whole mom friend thing. It's been a big year for making mom friends.
Thanks to our amazing preschool group, my phone looks like this now -
I am regularly in group texts with these moms. I am regularly included in things and even WENT OUT TO DINNER WITH THEM. We have birthday parties and Easter egg hunt parties and showers for babies and graduation parties. It's RIDICULOUS. I mean, who the hell do I think I am? Turns out most of them know who I am and like me anyway, and that feels pretty damn good I gotta say, because I like them A LOT. And their kids are awesome. What a future we have to look forward to with them at the helm. I cannot even think about graduation from preschool in a few weeks without legitimately crying because I'm going to miss this group so much.
Color me in disbelief. I just cannot wrap my brain around the notion that we have kids who are becoming little members of society (and doing a bang up job at it by the way), and in doing so, are forcing their 43 year old mama to do so as well.
We may just have a new couple of parents to hang out with thanks to these foolproof steps above. I encourage you to try them out on your own. Wear protective gear if necessary and prep yourself with coffee and sweat drenched make up - people seem to really respond to that. Come back and share your stories! Happy mom friending!