For so long it was me holding a conversation with them. Two little babies and their mama. It was up to me what we talked about and how the questions were answered and really just my stream of consciousness coming out for them to take in. BLESS THEM for having to listen to all my foolishness. Bless them still. It was a one sided conversation.
And then one day it all shifted. The day they started talking back.
It happened slowly of course, but now at 3 years old, they can say all the words. And say them well. They can string together thoughts and stories and logical arguments that make me question who taught them that?
My son over uses the word AMAZING already. "This mustard, tomato and cheese sandwich is AMAZING!" What?
When did it change from coos and gurgles to beeboops and tookies to "Mama now that Christmas is over can we get a new calendar?" EXCUSE ME WHAT???
The other night we were driving and we passed our neighbor's house, where Nikki (our Nanny 3 days a week when we go to work) watches the one year old on Thursdays and they said, "GOODNIGHT MIKEY. GOODNIGHT NIKKI." And it just wrecked me. I knew it would wreck Nikki too so of course I filmed them saying goodnight Nikki in the sweetest way possible and sent it to her because Nikki and I are in a constant battle as to who can kill who with cuteness at all times. I WON THAT NIGHT.
The good news is, I haven't missed any of it. We are right here. In this moment with them. With each new word, a recognition of something new. Perhaps too much attention is paid to these moments, but after hearing how quickly it all goes and to appreciate every moment, I can honestly say that I have. I do.
I don't miss a thing. It hasn't gone so fast. It's unfolding perfectly in time. So grateful for the opportunity to be their mama.
Last night at bedtime, there was a lot of playing around and not settling down so I had to go in a few times to have some come to jesus talks. They are usually pretty good about going to sleep, but on some occasions, the stalling tactics are spectacular.
My girl: "I'm sick. I need a doctor. I have a cut on my knee."
Me (thankful it was dark so she couldn't see me laughing): "Bebe. That's your scrape from last week and it's healing just perfectly. Now listen, if you guys don't calm down and go to sleep, I'm going to take away your favorite pajamas (major consequence)."
My boy: "You give our jammies away? To other kids?" PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE. "Maybe to Collin or Flynn. They would like them."
OH MY HEART.
You know those times they say something that makes you just fall on the floor and start sobbing or laughing so hard but you have to do it on the inside or else it all falls apart? Yeah.
Three year olds are the shit.
People say 3 year olds are worse than 2 year olds, but I am heartily disagreeing. There's good and bad in everything. In every age. Hell, 42 is worse and better than 41, but that's just the way it goes.
People want to tell you how hard it is going to be and how frustrating 2 and 3 year olds can be. And there is that. I have to practice patience every day and I don't always practice it as well as I'd like to. But what isn't spoken about so much is that delicious moment when they start talking back.
That moment when you really get to know your kids. I mean I knew what we had envisioned them to be, what we imagined as their little voices, but when the words come tumbling from their little mouths I stand in awe. They are kind, they are generous, they are competitive, they are nurturing, they are FUNNY, they are strong, they are fair, they are clever, they are TOO DAMN SMART, they are sad, they are happy, they are confused, they are thankful.
I write down as much as I can and of course we have all the pictures and videos, but to be present and see them becoming these awesome little people of the world, is almost too much of an honor. I struggle with feeling worthy. And then I catch myself saying something like, STOP PICKING YOUR SISTER'S NOSE and I know I am exactly where I need to be. With my people.
They love so hard, these two. Their empathy is so great that it is humbling to witness. This twins thing is incredible. Their interactions are out of this world. It's not even the words so much as the actions. The emotions behind the actions. Not everything requires words.
So yes, while 3 year olds are challenging at times, I would wager to say, this is my favorite part so far. May I not screw it up too damn much. It is all too precious. Today is my favorite.
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