Archive for March 2013

The Big Infertility to In Vitro Fertilization to Baby Round Up

Ah, my old nemesis and friend, I’ve missed you.  Well, no I haven’t, actually, you can get bent.  Wait, you can’t?  Oh yeah, well, at least beat it.  Go pound sand or something. Welcome to the rodeo!  It’s been a year since we started this  Infertility to In Vitro Fertization to Baby process.  We started... Read more »

What's That Smell? And Other Party Games

As I sit here I have spit up on my shoulder and pee and poop on my pants.  And no, it’s not mine.  But the glamour doesn’t stop there.  Oh no, there is the smell.  The sour smell of breast milk wafting through the air that I MUST FIND THE SOURCE OF.  Is it on... Read more »

It's Coming From INSIDE THE HOUSE

  This thing.  This little white piece of plastic with tiny little green lights on the front of it that go from one little dot as pictured above, to 5 RAGING LIGHTS OF HELL BLARING AT ME AS I TRY TO TAKE A 3 MINUTE SHOWER FOR THE LOVE…. The BABY MONITOR.  Our apartment is... Read more »
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I Love Misfits

  I am a misfit. I am an alcoholic. I am a late bloomer and a social undesirable. I am not who advertisers cater to. I am less than. I am a woman closer to 40 than to 30. I was childless, up until recently.  I am a renter.  I am divorced and now married... Read more »

Do You Have the Guts to Look a Grown Bunny Straight in the Eyes and Poop Like a Champion?

I DIDN’T THINK SO. But one of my twins did.  Hard.  The boy child – Oates – went for it.  Go big or go home.  The girl child – Hall – slept through the whole debacle.  Side-note – I hide the baby faces, get used to it. WHEN – Last Friday THE SCENE –  The... Read more »