This Sunday, a Florida hot dog stand figures it has the best answer to the NFL controversy “To kneel or not to kneel” during the national anthem.
Owner John Lee has a few burn barrels out back, and irate fans can bring their NFL jerseys and other merchandise to Coney Island Drive Inn in Brooksville, toss it all in the rusty barrels, and stand in solidarity with other white, chubby Floridians and be rewarded with a free hot dog as they watch the polyester shirts go up in flames.
Take that, Kaepernick! This will really hurt all those smartass players who have the temerity to exercise their freedom to take a knee while the song is played.
There will be a swelling of red-cheeked Florida pride not seen since Ol’ George Zimmerman plugged that black kid with bullets because Ol’ George suddenly found himself at the receiving end of a good ass-whooping.
Those flames will climb majestically up to six feet in the air, the heat flushing the glowing faces and filling every barrel chest with one of the oddest brands of patriotism ever witnessed.
Why odd? Because it’s misguided, senseless, and hurts the gathered folks more than anyone else. If it made a point of any kind, it might be worthy of solidarity. But what it does is fly in the face of what the kneeling means. In America, people are free to stand or not stand – that’s what our military fight and die for, that right.
The kneeling began as a peaceful protest against police violence, especially directed toward black youth. It instantly was misread as “unpatriotic” and a “slap in the face” to the U.S. military.
The ire was stirred up in the cauldron of hatred and divisiveness by the Tweet-happy Racist-In-Chief in the White House, and the sparks from those Tweets rose just like they do in Big John’s burn barrels. These black players are millionaires! What more do they want?
Lots of money in the NFL. Have you seen the price of that merchandise? It’s a hundred bucks for an official jersey, easy. And the money has already been spent, by the assembled anthem lovers hovering over the bonfire.
It’s reminiscent of that time some Jesus Freak DJ called for burning Beatles records because John Lennon made the true statement that the group was, at that time, more popular than Jesus. The problem was, the records were already bought. It hurt no one.
Those free hot dogs being offered up at Big John’s “Celebration of Patriotism” will be some of the most expensive ever seen.
Instead of burning those clothing items, how about donating them to the Vietnam Veterans of America at www.vva.org -- some of these guys might really appreciate them.
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