Dog Sauce? Heinz Is Crazy to Think We’d Fall for This

chicagodogsauceheinzFirst off, Heinz Ketchup tried to normalize ketchup on hot dogs by showing wiener dogs licking the faces of adult sized ketchup bottles in a misguided Super Bowl commercial.

Now, they’re figuring wheeling out a Trojan Horse on National Hot Dog Day might work. By sticking a label that says “Dog Sauce” on bottles of ketchup, they figure to dupe Chicagoans into a “Try it, you’ll like it” test. It’s a test doomed to failure, but not for the reason you might think.

I’m a live-and-let-live kind of guy. There are those who would break the arm of anyone offering them a bottle of ketchup with their hot dog. I am more of a “No, thank you” kind of guy. Like Bartleby the Scrivener, "I prefer not to.” Do what you want. Do what works for you.

That applies to many things. I can never understand anyone’s zealousness to prohibit gay marriage, meddle in a woman’s right to have or not have a baby, or make a horse’s ass of themselves by impinging on an individual’s right to a belief in their God – or health care, for that matter.

Leave people alone. That’s what America is supposed to be about.

It holds true for how you order your hot dog. Ketchup? Fine, just don’t ask me to do it – and most importantly, don’t try to sneak ketchup on my dog and call it something else. That’s where the Heinz people really blew it again.

They treat the Chicago market like Neanderthals who would happily slop ketchup all over their dogs as long as it wasn’t called ketchup – and pronounce it “awesome”:

That’s insulting and misses the point – and creates enemies, not customers.

Pour all sugar-laden “Dog Sauce” on your hot dog you wish.

Just don’t call it “Chicago Style.”

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