When the going gets tough, the tough heads to Las Vegas

When the going gets tough, the tough heads to Las Vegas

Remember the 1978 film Animal House? Bluto, Otter, Boon, D-day and others living in the Delta House at Faber College. These guys weren't there to get educated. They went to college to party. Sure, they were in constant trouble with the school's administration, but whenever that occurred, they doubled down. Toga party and road trips!

Last week I received and email from Vegas.com. They were letting me know that the city was opening for business on June 4th. I was welcome to come to Nevada and start the party with them. Oh baby.....it's Animal House 2020!

If these kids from Faber think they had it bad, look at what we're dealing with now:

Coronavirus pandemic
100,000-plus dead Americans
40 million unemployed
Police brutality
Protests and looting
Donald Trump

I told you it was bad! But to quote Bluto "When the going get's tough....the tough..." heads to Las Vegas?

I'm not a big fan of Vegas, but I've been there five times in the last few years. Once to see a concert, another time to go to Utah and the other times to hang out with friends. I don't gamble anymore. I can't remember even putting a single coin into a slot machine. I'm certainly not the type of customer the city and casinos want to give their best deals. I'm not sure how I got on their mailing list, but here I am getting emails that say they're going to roll out the red carpet for me.

WOW!! Vegas wants me....bad!!!

They're taking measures to ensure my safety:

. Enhanced sanitation throughout the entire property – this means everything from the poker tables and slot machines to public surfaces and spaces will be disinfected daily.
. Complimentary care amenities - many items like personal hand sanitizers, disinfecting wipes, latex gloves and personal masks will be provided in your room upon check in.
. Physical distancing implementation – proper distancing measures will be clearly marked in places like the front desk, elevator lobbies and ride-share lines, making it easy to know you are where you should be.

Sounds like fun. This should be a good time! Because when I think of social distancing, the first places I think about are casinos and the Vegas strip!

However, those reduced room rates are enticing enough to do a little research. I checked my favorite airline to see if they were still offering seventeen dollar flights. BINGO...at least to get there. It was a little more expensive to get home, but still under eighty bucks round trip. Yes, that's EIGHT ZERO DOLLARS!!!

Here's the problem...all those issues I mentioned still exist. Las Vegas is still having rallies, protests, demonstrations, whatever words you want to use. The city council is cracking down by issuing a list of items now prohibited:

large purses - coolers - briefcases - backpacks - fanny packs - cinch bags - luggage of any kind - computer bags - camera bags - strollers, carts or any vehicle propelled by humans, electricity, or mechanical means

Hmmm...no backpacks or luggage? How do I get my clothes to town? No briefcases or computer bags? How can I carry my laptop? This list doesn't sound very welcoming from a city that is almost begging me to come back? The good news is I can bring a wallet, so I'll have money to spend at the gambling tables and machines. PHEW!!

Vegas....you almost had me. It was damn close! I was really looking forward to being part of that little petri dish experiment your mayor pushed a few weeks ago, but for now, I think I'll have to pass. There's just too much shit going on in both the world and in your city. Maybe another time, when the heat has cooled a little. Let me know exactly when that is and we may have a deal. I'm sure you and the airlines will be holding all the special deals, right?

I look forward to the day where I can repeat the famous words of Otter and Boon after finding out they stole the wrong test..."ROAD TRIP!!!!"

Related Post: Let's take a road trip to Lake Geneva

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Filed under: humor, News, Satire

Tags: Animal House, Las Vegas

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