If you write a health/wellness blog that focuses on a personal issue, you're going to pass on some personal info. Some of it is entertaining and informational...at least I tell myself that. Other times you wonder if it borders on Too Much Information? I'm pretty sure this one has jumped the proposed wall on the border but WTF...the people have a right to know.
With a disease like Parkinson's, it's not just the tremors. Sure, everyone knows about those but it's some of the other "minor" things that mess with your body.
Tremors and balance issues, I've learned how to deal with a few years ago. Sure I spill food on my clothes and walk into walls but normally I just do laundry and bounce off that wall and it's all good.
When I came up with a Vitamin D deficiency and that led to Melanoma (along with sunburns from childhood), well yeah that was a little shocking. BUT, two hours under a knife and it was all gone. Really no pain involved here at all...at least physical pain.
Dry eyes, daytime drowsiness, constipation and memory loss? Take some drops, grab a nap, a little Mirolax and I forget what I take for memory loss but it's all good. Although, I wonder if the constipation led to the double hernia surgery last year? Ehhh!
But there's one thing I can figure out. What's the deal with Urinary Tract Infections? Once a year I can count on getting one and I have no idea why. There's a cause and effect thing going with the other Parkinson's crap:
a. Tremors=spilled food
b. Lack of Vitamin D=Melanoma
c. Urinary Tract Infections= NOT A CLUE!!
And really, other than the fact that they're painful in an area you aren't looking for pain (well most of us), five to ten days of drugs gets rid of them. But my other issue is how I get the drugs. I have to have a lovely chat with my physician. It's always nice to see her.
Doctor A: So you think you have an UTI? Why?
Howie: Maybe it's the last five I've had in the last five years? Not my first UTI rodeo!
Doctor A: Okay...so when was the last time you had sex?
Doctor A: It's okay. We're just two people talking about normal stuff. We do it every day. So when was the last time you masturbated?
Howie: Oh just fucking kill me right now!!
See what you have to go through to get some meds? Oh yeah, we're not done...of course not!
Doctor A: I'm just going to do a quick exam to check things out.
Howie: Of course you are...hey, there aren't any sticks involved, are there?
Doctor A: No sticks. You can get dressed now.
Howie: Hey Abby (we're on a first name basis), remember when I told you that you were my only cute doctor who never did an intrusive exam on me? Ignore that!!
Doctor A: Yep...(laughs)
Nice to know my doctor has a sense of humor and if you can't laugh at your own pain and discomfort, whose can you laugh at? The good news I have five days worth of antibiotics and we should be good as new. But I did have one more question that I forgot to ask. Did that little exam you gave me count as sex? It would help to know for when we have this conversation again next year.
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