I said was because mine is now gone. Had it pulled yesterday. It was not only infected but it was cracked.
I ate a Jujyfruit a couple of months ago= cracked tooth. So I blame the Heidi company for this story.....not the 62 year old adult still eating fucking Jujyfruits.
So after three consults with three different dentists/oral surgeons, it was decided the tooth had to go.
Yesterday was the day and I met dental expert number 4.
Both the dentist and the hygienist are Russian immigrants. I walk in and they're talking in Russian and laughing. I see a few winks...big time flirting. Hey, I'm good with that. I like to see people in love (shrugging shoulders).
I get in the chair. He looks at the x-ray. "Hey man, I'm going to numb you up good and we're going to have a little party. It'll be fine."
Four shots later, I've become more than comfortably numb and it's time to party like it's 1999.
They're still flirting and making goo goo eyes at each other. I said "Before we start, I just wanna know...are you going home with each other when we're done?"
There's blushing and laughter but now it's time to get down to business.
The dentist then says, "This should be good. Tell me if you're in any pain when I ask."
Oh My God...Steve Martin from Little Shop of Horrors is about to pull my tooth.
He pulls out this huge wrench-like instrument. I close my eyes because I can't imagine anything that size in my mouth...plus I'm scared shitless.
He clamps this thing onto my tooth and it's go time. He then starts talking to my tooth like he's making love to it...or something like that.
"Man, this is hard...are you okay?...c'mon baby...are you okay?...I can't believe how big this is!...are you okay?...Wow, it's really deep in there...are you okay?...just a little more....are you okay?...Here it comes!!!...ARE YOU OKAY?!!"
Apparently my dentist has read 50 Shades of Grey. If dentistry doesn't work out, he can have a career in phone sex.
The tooth is out. Blood is all over. I guess my tooth and gum were virgins.
As I write this it's twelve hours later. I've got all kinds of pain meds...and am looking for more (hint). I've had two long naps and I'm feeling like it's the 1970's again. To answer his question, I'm going to be okay.
But I am curious about one thing....I wonder what the dentist and hygienist did when I left?
If you liked this piece, check out my this one My Doctor Dropped an F-Bomb
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