I thought we'd start the week with a light, fun topic. Let's talk about death. As long as we're at it, let's talk about God, too. Might as well mix in Heaven and Hell. Let's go for it all!
Recently I've seen three episodes where people have died and friends/relatives have mentioned that their relationship with God made the passing, if not okay at least more tolerable. It seemed to give them peace.
Episode #1: A friend died last September. Her birthday was last week. I mentioned how sad it is that she wouldn't see her granddaughter grow up. Another friend mentioned that she believed they were together. It was sweet and she really believes that.
Episode #2: A former classmates brother died at age 59. He had lost his daughter to Leukemia when she was age ten. The classmate mentioned that they are now reunited.
Episode #3: My daughter lost one her close friends to Cancer. He was 28 years old. Her belief in God brings her peace that her friend is now in a better place and without pain. Her friend also believed this.
Three examples, all with this commonality. All are saddened by the loss. All are strengthened by their belief that something better awaits.
I'm not as spiritual as the above examples. Although I do believe there is a God, it's not a big influence on my day to day life. I just don't have the faith they do.
However, I do think about this stuff a lot...maybe too much. Why? Well at age 62 I'm much closer to the end than the beginning. When you add in Parkinson's, it's even closer. Not trying to being morbid and I'm not planning on going anywhere soon, just being realistic.
So yeah....I'm a little obsessive on this topic but I do know what I need. It's a little thing. I'm not asking for much. I just need one person to come back and tell me what this afterlife thing is like. Just one. Please!
If it's Heaven....great. If it's Hell, then that's great, too. I'm flexible. Even if nothing exist and we're just in the ground, well that's cool. I can deal with all of that. At least we'd know. It's the uncertainty that makes me crazed.
How crazed am I? Last week I spent an hour with a Pastor talking about this. Great person but she didn't have all the answers. Yesterday I told her I was going to talk with my Therapist about all this. She thought it was a good idea.
Today was another hour long chat with a trained professional. Left me even more confused. We went on about Death, God, Afterlife, Seven Stages of Grief....yanno...all the good stuff. OY!! We did come to one conclusion. I'm apparently not ready to cut down my sessions to every other week. SIGH
I'm telling you it's all very confusing and overwhelming.
Have I come to any conclusions? Sorta.
First, I'd love to be able to deal with this stuff like my three examples. Sorry can't do it...can't get there.
Second, I really need to stop thinking about this stuff. It's not healthy.
Finally, Maybe the next time I start overthinking this stuff, I should just close my eyes and turn up the music. Yeah...that's the answer.
"I have finally found a way to live...in the color of the Lord."