Posts in category "Mom Body"

No, I don't want my daughter getting an IUD

This week, the American Academy of Pediatrics published its recommendation for sexually active teenage girls to choose Intrauterine Devices (IUDs) to avoid pregnancy. That’s right, IUDs as a best option to prevent pregnancy was published in a pediatrics journal. Kids. Babies. Using IUDs. Look, I know teens are going to have sex, but an IUD... Read more »

Was the third boob hoax really that far fetched?

By now you’ve heard of the lady who paid $20k to have a third boob installed with the simultaneous goals of: repelling men’s interest and getting a reality show on MTV. Yes, . . . please pay me no mind over here with my third boob and also pay lots of attention to me about... Read more »

Donut shop bans fat-shaming toddler for asking lady if she's pregnant

“Is there a baby in your belly?” Nope, just donuts! Apparently at a donut shop named Doughnut Inn (Does one sleep there? Are there donut – excuse me- doughnut pillows? Does Homer Simpson turn down guests’ sheets with his glazed fingertips?) in Monroe, CT, a 4-year-old boy was banned after asking a customer if she... Read more »
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Breastfeeding awareness is not bottle shaming

Want to know a super interesting fact? (You: thrill me.) I bought a tub of formula just before Tradeshowgate and I’ve been trying to jackhammer it into my 6-month-old’s mouth for about a week now. No dice. It seems once you get the breastfeeding train rolling it’s hard to jump off. My kids happen to... Read more »

Reader Mail Bag: "Life with a sexxy face scar"

Every day I get a little report about what people are reading on my blog. Surprisingly, a lot of peeps search for answers about how to have self esteem with a face scar and get my post, Life with a sexxy face scar. Appropriately named! Anyway, the other day I got an email from a... Read more »

I won't miss the baby years

I’ve driven the big ugly people-hauler since I traded in my sports car when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I’ve had mom hair since they invented ponytails and I’ve had no shame passing my PJs off as pants for five years now. But yesterday? That was the first day of soccer practice. There’s no going... Read more »
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11 things moms can do instead of drinking wine

So, who here has a glass of wine every night? Or two. Just me? I can’t be the only person who gets bored after the kids go down and cracks open a bottle. It’s a reward system. No matter what kind of crap I’ve had to deal with or how annoying my kids get, I... Read more »

I told my kids I'm gorgeous

I never go to Kohl’s. I don’t know what struck me to go to a department store on Black Friday – I think it was an ad for a half price Barbie Volkswagen or maybe the allure of being near Target without having to stop in, like when my newborn insists to sleep with my... Read more »

One thing I don't have down? The breast pump.

Now that I’m on my third kid, there are things I’ve mastered. I’m a ninja at stuffing tiny, angry legs into baby tights, for example and don’t even try me on my bouncing sway. Sometimes I bounce-sway when I’m not even holding a baby. People probably think I have to pee or that I’ve got... Read more »
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Why you shouldn't be afraid to have a baby

Ah, shoo. Now that there’s a pop in the population of people reading this blog, I feel like I have to be Laurel & Hardy up in herr, like I have to do a little soft shoe as I sing my messages about VAGINA POWER and nasto chemicals in your drinking water and the Elf.... Read more »