Posts in category "Mom Body"

Donut shop bans fat-shaming toddler for asking lady if she's pregnant

“Is there a baby in your belly?” Nope, just donuts! Apparently at a donut shop named Doughnut Inn (Does one sleep there? Are there donut – excuse me- doughnut pillows? Does Homer Simpson turn down guests’ sheets with his glazed fingertips?) in Monroe, CT, a 4-year-old boy was banned after asking a customer if she... Read more »

Breastfeeding awareness is not bottle shaming

Want to know a super interesting fact? (You: thrill me.) I bought a tub of formula just before Tradeshowgate and I’ve been trying to jackhammer it into my 6-month-old’s mouth for about a week now. No dice. It seems once you get the breastfeeding train rolling it’s hard to jump off. My kids happen to... Read more »

Reader Mail Bag: "Life with a sexxy face scar"

Every day I get a little report about what people are reading on my blog. Surprisingly, a lot of peeps search for answers about how to have self esteem with a face scar and get my post, Life with a sexxy face scar. Appropriately named! Anyway, the other day I got an email from a... Read more »
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I won't miss the baby years

I’ve driven the big ugly people-hauler since I traded in my sports car when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I’ve had mom hair since they invented ponytails and I’ve had no shame passing my PJs off as pants for five years now. But yesterday? That was the first day of soccer practice. There’s no going... Read more »

11 things moms can do instead of drinking wine

So, who here has a glass of wine every night? Or two. Just me? I can’t be the only person who gets bored after the kids go down and cracks open a bottle. It’s a reward system. No matter what kind of crap I’ve had to deal with or how annoying my kids get, I... Read more »

I told my kids I'm gorgeous

I never go to Kohl’s. I don’t know what struck me to go to a department store on Black Friday – I think it was an ad for a half price Barbie Volkswagen or maybe the allure of being near Target without having to stop in, like when my newborn insists to sleep with my... Read more »
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One thing I don't have down? The breast pump.

Now that I’m on my third kid, there are things I’ve mastered. I’m a ninja at stuffing tiny, angry legs into baby tights, for example and don’t even try me on my bouncing sway. Sometimes I bounce-sway when I’m not even holding a baby. People probably think I have to pee or that I’ve got... Read more »

Why you shouldn't be afraid to have a baby

Ah, shoo. Now that there’s a pop in the population of people reading this blog, I feel like I have to be Laurel & Hardy up in herr, like I have to do a little soft shoe as I sing my messages about VAGINA POWER and nasto chemicals in your drinking water and the Elf.... Read more »

Postpartum depression: Am I about to go down the spiral?

To anyone who asks me the story of Boss’s birth, they get the happy version. I leave out a few details. You know, clean it up for polite company. Only 20 minutes of pushing! I want to send a fruit basket to the delivery team! She was as loud and pink and hungry as my... Read more »
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How to go into labor + BABY PICS!

With this third baby, I was over pregnancy by half way through. DUNZO. I wanted my body cleared of squatters the second I hit the official “full term” milestone of 37 weeks and not a minute later. I wanted to know how to go into labor, like, yesterday. Wouldn’t you know, the day before I... Read more »