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Posts in category "Memory Lane"

Prom: Hey skeezy principals, quit policing whore dresses!

I’ve gotten several emails wanting to know my thoughts on all the prom attire in the media right now. You know, the God Bless Texana Dress and the girl who made hers out of hubcaps or some such.  Since soliciting my opinion flatters me, I’ll just go right ahead and spill my brain on a... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
April 27, 2012 at 7:04 am
• 39 comments

Martha Stewart told me she hated peanut butter

When I opened my mail today I found a clipping from my eagle-eyed friend, Claire, who spotted a comment about peanut butter Martha Stewart made to Taste Of Home magazine. First of all, yes, someone sent me a real piece of mail and secondly, it contained a printed clipping of something. But back to the... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
April 9, 2012 at 8:11 pm
• 2 comments

Car Wives, Part II

Right after college you’re looking for that adult-seeming desk job that spells “security” where you can sip free coffee and pretend you’re on The Office. All I really wanted in a job was free air conditioning since my first apartment in Chicago was so infernally hot, I had to sleep in front of a fan... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
March 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm
• 2 comments
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Car wives

You’ll never have a date for a wedding. Your family meal together is breakfast because your husband hasn’t had dinner with the kids on a weeknight since Christmas fell on a Friday. Your vacations are all dealer prizes. Your month-to-month income chart looks like a series of McDonalds arches. Most people forget where they parked... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
February 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm
• 1 comment

I sucked at stand-up

I was terrible at stand-up comedy. I was all boobs and run-on sentences. The audience would just stare at me, like “What? No period jokes?” I don’t make period jokes, I don’t hate men and I don’t have any cats. Those were the main topics covered by local female comedians at the time and apparently no... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
February 21, 2012 at 8:12 am
• 5 comments

It took me a year to figure out I was "roofied"

Advice columnist Dear Prudence gave some shaky advice to an alleged rape victim’s friend who is conflicted about the victim changing her story of a drunken encounter. Originally the alleged victim said she had a regrettable one-night-stand then later flip-flopped to rape accusation mode after talking to a crisis line. Dear Prudence and most of... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
January 31, 2012 at 6:14 pm
• 13 comments
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Here's why you don't remember Elian Gonzalez

On Easter morning, 2000, my friend and I were in a weird part of Berlin staying at a bed & breakfast of all things. Do you know what Germans eat for breakfast? Hard boiled eggs and cheese. It was interesting. Around midmorning we were packing to go back to School in England while watching German... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
December 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm
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A heartwarming tale of slutoween past

I debated telling this story publicly, but what the hell. Given the happenings of the last few weeks it’s apropos. One halloween in college I went to a costume party the theater kids were throwing. Those were always fun. Anyway, some guy decided to come totally naked (heh). His costume was cleverly “a naked guy”... Read more »
By Jenna Myers Karvunidis,
October 31, 2011 at 9:06 pm
• 14 comments