Posts in category "Dicey Mom Territory"

CODE RED: Conflict in the gym childcare center

You never want to have conflict with the people who care for your children. That’s, like, the second line in the pledge behind “won’t kill it” when you take on parenting. Yet, conflict will arise. Like today. There was a bit of a previous dust-up at my gym childcare center a few weeks ago when... Read more »

Is it rude to change a diaper in the locker room?

Our gym locker room is set up like a long, medium-quality toilet lounge that connects the pool to the rest of the fitness merriment. The facilities are better than prison, worse than Queen Elizabeth’s private powder chamber. So, it’s a normal gym. On non-religious holidays the place is infested with drain hair so dense and... Read more »

Why can't you get mad at kids anymore?

I might lose a friend over this. Eh, she’s new. Easy go! My kids know not to mess with my stuff. I’m not even sure why. Maybe I said something in the hospital when they were born like, “craft fabric is poison to children” or “the Elf lives by the washing machine” etc. and it... Read more »

My cleaning lady has an attitude!

What if I said, “I’m not happy with my cleaning lady’s attitude?” I’d be a jerk, right? Zomg, what a spoiled human being up on her high horse criticizing the help like some kind of ice queen. She’s so lazy and mean. Tar her! Feather her! Think about why criticizing domestic help comes across so... Read more »

Oh no. My kid learned to read.

Pops: Should we take the kids O-U-T for I-C-E C-R-E-A-M? Me: Nah, the baby is going to want to go down soon and they already had a T-R-E-A-T today. Bee: Ice cream! Ice cream! I think I’m supposed to be proud or excited that my kid learned to read, but as usual with our practice first... Read more »

All I want for Christmas is LEAVE THE DAMN BABY ALONE

When a crazed stranger with dead-cat hair stuck her finger in my 8-day-old child’s mouth at the grocery store, I didn’t have the foresight to have her arrested or at least scream a little. It was 2008. As usual in these situations, I froze and debated about it later, about how I should have cracked... Read more »

One thing I don't have down? The breast pump.

Now that I’m on my third kid, there are things I’ve mastered. I’m a ninja at stuffing tiny, angry legs into baby tights, for example and don’t even try me on my bouncing sway. Sometimes I bounce-sway when I’m not even holding a baby. People probably think I have to pee or that I’ve got... Read more »

In defense of "pinkwashing" . . . the Civil Rights era

One of my favorite peeps, Moms Who Drink And Swear made some great points this morning against the practice of “pinkwashing” – that is, amending books to be more age-appropriate, aka childproofing Harry Potter, an arguable classic. MWDAS was responding to a mom who admits weaving in better lessons and plucking out offensive parts of... Read more »

So, your toddler wants to wear blackface

I have a friend and I know you think it’s me, so go ahead and think it because my kid does stuff like this all the time. Kids are basically raw humans who go around revealing humanity’s innermost, universal embarrassing thoughts. “MOM, I maked poop because of the broccoli!” Etcetera. Anyway, my friend’s daughter has... Read more »