Want to know a super interesting fact? (You: thrill me.) I bought a tub of formula just before Tradeshowgate and I've been trying to jackhammer it into my 6-month-old's mouth for about a week now. No dice. It seems once you get the breastfeeding train rolling it's hard to jump off. My kids happen to latch on like barnacles the minute they are born, but I did manage to switch to formula around 9 months with my first baby. I think this qualifies me as bottle-tolerant. I mean, this might come across the wrong way, but the truth is I don't care what you feed your child. As long as it's not poison, who gives a flip what some other lady is doing?
Unless it's exposing her breast in public.
Breastfeeders have to deal with things bottle feeders don't, like, for example, being thrown out of places. You can argue with me that the woman kicked out of the trade show had nothing to do with her nursing, but check the many other examples of this phenomenon. Harassing breastfeeding women is such problem, they had to make a law about it that says women can indeed nurse in public. They never had to make a law that people who bottle feed can stay in public. No one ever made a bottle feeder sit on a toilet to feed her baby.
And now for a brief tirade. They are just breasts. They are just a sometimes-sexy body part that is used to feed a baby. It's like saying that since you use your hands for sex, you shouldn't be able to show them in public either. Gloves for everyone! Off to the restroom with you to open any pickle jars. /tirade
Speaking of the debacle at the trade show where the breastfeeding mom was shown the door (you love speaking of this! It's your favorite! Just like Kardashians and dead horses) I've noticed a few hurt feelings from some rad moms I know. They feel attacked for bottle feeding, what with this trumpeting of breastfeeding support. (#solidarity, bra.) It's natural to feel defensive about your choices when you see such support raining down for the path not chosen. When I see everyone like, WORKING MOM USA!!! I feel like a big fat loser for being in my house. So I get it. But I want you to know that you are not less of a mom for feeding your child the best way you see fit. It makes me sad, in fact, because I really look up to the momming of these particular ladies.
I understand the hurt feelings. It's not always easy to see when something has nothing to do with you. You have to trust me that breastfeeding awareness is about including nursing moms not about excluding bottle moms. Black History Month is not about excluding white people, right?
I'll end on a sappy note. The most important thing we can do is our best. If your kid is fed and gets a bath every here and there, you're doing your job. Let's not forget what a true bad mom is. Bad moms take off to Tijuana with no forwarding address. Bad moms take their toddlers on crime sprees. Bad moms get drunk and drop their kids on the sidewalk then make hilarious mug shot faces.
See? That's not us. We're amazing.
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