I have to make this quick because I'm writing this during the sweet spot of the baby's nap when her two sisters are occupied with reenacting the recent Disney movie that shall go nameless. I swear, my girls will never let it go.
Pops is busy building a bouncy thing and I should be cleaning up the rubble after the waffles I made this morning, but I'm snagging this moment of relative calm to tell you and the universe and myself how thankful I am to have a peaceful house. I didn't say it was quiet. I didn't say it was clean. It's peaceful. What do I mean by that?
If you grew up in a house that was not peaceful, you will understand.
If you grew up in a violent house, you will understand.
If you grew up in an angry house with ever-changing rules to suit ever-changing moods, a house you didn't want to be in and got out when you could and left at an early age, you will understand.
I didn't realize until I had my own family how screwed up things were back then. I had a hunch. The school counselors who grilled me in their offices had a hunch. Now, it's crystal clear that that shit was not normal. Bye, past!
Want to know what makes my kids cry? When one of their sisters takes their doll. They cry when they fall down. They cry because they don't want to go to bed. My oldest daughter shouted, "BAD MOMMY" at me when I stubbed my toe on the bouncy seat (again. I seriously hate that thing) and I yelled, "shit!"
You want to know reasons my kids have never shed a tear?
They've never witnessed a wild, violent fight between their parents. Nothing in this house has ever been broken in a rage. No one has ever had to hide under a bed. You may not realize how AWESOME that is. It is awesome!
I'm not a perfect parent by any means. I forgot to feed the kids dinner one day because of the time change and I call them by the wrong names. (The baby is now "Buh-Ste-the-baby".) I once threw out a cloth diaper because I didn't want to wash it. I forgot to strap the middle child in her car seat (twice!).
What I am so thankful for and know I am lucky to have is a house where everyone is generally happy (shout to Zoloft for postpartum sulkiness!) and totally safe. This is a safe place for my kids to live. I can't tell you how proud that makes me. It's just, rad. I love living here! I get snuggles and kisses and no one gets mad when I do stupid stuff like put people's favorite new shirt in the dryer and shrink it until it fits one of the kids. This place is a lot of work and we all have our struggles, but this little family hit the jackpot with each other.
No matter what your circumstances were growing up, just know, history does not have to repeat itself. You can learn from other peoples' mistakes and then make your own life just how you want it to be. Loving! Maybe with pink walls and a full sink?
High five to raising your kids in a house full of love!
Now if you'll excuse me, the neighbor kid just came over and he's doing a pretty decent Olaf. This, I gotta see.
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