Steves are always rascals

My new friend Carrie was asking about how to get in contact with another Carrie, which made me think of my old friend, a different Carrie, when new-Carrie said something to the effect that all Carries are cool. Agreed. I know about five Carries and I like them all, which got me thinking of other names that people share and end up having similar personalities. I don't usually like to generalize about people but sometimes generalizations are just true. Most trees are tall. I'm sorry. Get ready, I'm about to amass a following of Steves!

Steve - I have no Steve in particular in mind, but the one who shoots to the top for some reason is this guy from my high school known by teachers as "the instigator". Of course he was funny. Steves have big personalities, which I love, but aren't they always rascals? I'm trying to think of a mellow, wallflower Steve and I'm coming up short in the six or so I know.

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Ann? Serious. I know three Anns and while they are nice, they are not the friend who will get a tattoo with you after a bender in Vegas. Anns do not cause trouble. They think their thoughts in private. Annies though? Another world.

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Annie Potts is not an Ann.

Chuck - Helpful. I know three guys named Chuck and they are always the ones to fix your computer or lift a heavy box. Why is this, universe? Did the parents of the 60's and 70's who had an inclination to raise helpful sons all have a secret club? The Helpful Chuck club? WHY ARE CHUCKS SO HELPFUL??? Also, thank you Chucks.

Christine/Christina - Trouble! Fun trouble, but still. My friend Chrissy is a demure little Catholic mom with three kids but she'll cut a bitch in an alley if you need her to. I know a Christina who I'd trust to break me out of jail and my old roommate Christine gave birth to a nine pound kid on her living room floor. Bad asses. Don't mess.

James - They always speak in low tones. I have no idea why this is. I wonder if Barry White's real name was James? Every time I talk to a James my ears go into a trance and I say things like, "how does that make you feel?" and then I light a fire in the fireplace.

People with unique names = Oddly normal people.

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Jennifer - There were of us six in my kindergarten class and probably about 70 reading at this, but I can make a concrete generalization. What is in our brain is coming out. Well, like 90%. The other 10% is under lock and key and you'll never, ever know about it.

I can't wait until the Aiden/Jayden/Madison generation grows up to see what those cracker boxes are all about. I have a suspicion Bees like to craft, B'Stells like to dance and Bosses love to eat. Any Annes or Jennifers out there care to validate my theory?

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