2014: Vow to be small and easy

The only New Year's resolution I ever kept was my vow to stick to one cup of coffee a day in 2003. Done. If I try to get too huge with my goals (I will conquer abstract math! I will power through one-thousand crunches per morning!) I'll just end up defeated on the couch like a week-old balloon as the kids decorate me with Barbie stickers. Small and attainable goals are the way to go, so instead of telling you I'm going to stick to a diet of sticks and slay the world with my great American novel, I'll be realistic about the little things I'm working on.

Now is good timing for some (small) resolutions in my life. The baby is nearly two months old so I'm ready to deal with my conquerable bit of weight to lose. Also, my house has become Mom's Infirmary. My kids have been passing illnesses to each other like a hot potato since Thanksgiving. The chest colds, Pneunomia, now RSV. We've had beautiful vomiting that shoots up like Buckingham Fountain, glorious piles of laundry and gadgets entering our home like bilirubin lights and an oddly-satisfying booger vacuum. I've got to get us under control. Resolution Numba One for 2014? Get us healthy.

I've been a lazy bone with frozen pizzas and easy food. Pregnancy breaks down all my motivation to cook and take the time to shop 100% organically. In 2014 I'm back up on that hoss, but I'm going to be forgiving with myself. I'm only committing to little steps, like drinking my friend Anupy's tea a few mornings a week and sometimes adding turmeric to stuff. I'm going to think about (I did not say follow strictly! I said think about!) the 100 Days of Food 14-week challenge. I'm going to kill on week 3. (It's not cheating if you just happen to already be a vegetarian.) My kids could totally use more peas and less gingerbread houses. We'll take it slowly, but we'll get there.

Remember that adorable time in my life when I baked all my own bread? Ah, memories. I quit doing it because it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I kept sinking further and further into the rabbit hole of never being good enough. At first I thought I was pretty cool for baking my own bread. I was super mom! Then I learned the grains really needed to be soaked overnight first, something about the gluten needing to be broken down. Then I found out that to really make the bread the best, I had to buy a grain mill and grind my own grains because something-something-nutrients, turning bread making into a days-long process that I could never keep up with. Even then, it was still bread and bread is so horrible, low carb! Calories and such!  I guess we're all supposed to be grain-free vegans who live on triple-filtered reverse-osmosis water and wait. Wait! No. Just air! WE ONLY NEED AIR.

I always end up cracking open a Redbull and rolling through Burger King. Hey, the Satisfries are low-fattish? Sort of?

I'm not going to worry about the persuit of perfection this year. Good is the opposite of great. If I compare myself to supermodels and yogis, I'll never get to the gym (again) or attempt a green smoothie. So let's relax together, Internet, and just try to be a little better than we were before. I'm starting with using more honey and taking a walk today. See? Healthy! Also, small and easy! That I can do. And you know what? I'm taking it a step further. I'm over the mom guilt, which is basically what all this boils down to. I'm a great mom and so are you. The end. Merry 2014! Let's get healthy!


Carbs taste so good! I'm keeping them!


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