I felt like killing a little time today, so I took my two-year-old to the Halloween superstore. I love Halloween! When people ask me my due date, I tell them I'm rooting for October 31. (Someone helpfully pointed out to me the other day that since she's a girl, I'd better avoid that date so people don't call her a witch. Noted.) I still love it. I'm more of a pumpkin-and-leaves type of Halloweener, but sometimes gothic candelabras strike my fancy too.
What impaled me like a fake bloody knife when we walked in the superstore was precisely how many dead baby corpses one could choose from this year to decorate her home. Dead baby corpses! All shapes and sizes! New for 2013! YAY REALISTIC ROTTING INFANTS.
I can already hear the angry mob now about how "sensitive" some people (me) are. But zombies are all in good fun! Halloween is a time for silly dead things! Lighten up, Karvunidis! Quit spoiling our dead baby party! Maybe you even lost a baby yourself and you still think I'm a big cry baby. To you, I say get your own blog and sing it loud. Me, I'm making a case against dead baby decor.
1. Rotting corpse babies are not attractive. What's wrong with colorful leaves or a regular ole jack-o-lantern with the silly teeth? I get that maybe you're an ethereal ghost person or you think a bowl of eyeballs is hilarious, but just admit that decomposing human body parts are not adding to the aesthetics of your space.
IMAGE DELETED because CANNOT HANDLE. Those curious may click here.
2. Realistic dolls are creepy enough. What, dolls like this don't scare you - the angry man face, the balled fists, the dead stare? Year-round fright fest, morbidity lovers! You do not need the added layer of decomposition and undeadness to add to your holiday.
3. Infant loss is a real thing. It happens to more people than you know. Decorating your home with baby corpses might seem like a rocking good time to you, but you're going to need to put those away when company comes over. You don't always know who has lost an infant. Don't emotionally trigger your dinner guests. Hi, that's me. And I'm way fun at dinner parties.
After the original September 11th, Halloween sales of severed limbs took dip. Were those people who lived through a tragedy just big wimps who don't know how to take a joke? Look, I'm sure one day I'll see zombie baby decor as simply stupid like I did before, but for now, it's in the realm if how-gross-is-your-humanity.
Down with dead baby decorations!
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