Could you donate your wedding dress?

Mommy, let's donate your wedding dress so someone else can have their baby." - My three-year-old

We're thirteen days away from moving, 38 boxes into the chore and have now made three trips to the Salvation Army drop-off. For that last task, we use those giant, industrial black bags that contractors use for discarded dry wall. I'm a sturdy mom, so I look like this loading the car:



Seriously, I could arm wrestle anyone. I kicked my friend Stacey's ass last New Year's and she works out five times a week on a diet of protein and kale. I digress. But seriously, don't mess with me. I'm titanium in yoga pants.

One topic that keeps coming up is what to throw away vs. what to donate. The message I've been trying to drill for the first nearly four years of parenting is "we don't give things away to get rid of them, we give things because someone needs them". Giving is not about the giver. The object of charity is to serve another person better than you would serve yourself. That means if you intend to donate baby bottles, you go to the store, choose what you would buy for yourself plus one, and give that. At Christmastime, we collect our outgrown toys to give, but we also go shopping for new toys to donate. When there's a food drive, we buy food we'd like to eat ourselves and so on. Not that used things aren't good, but giving gross or broken things isn't very charitable.


Now that we're moving, I'll admit, most of the donating is to get this stuff out of my hair. Could someone use a box of cloudy baby bottles? I don't know. I hope so. Usually I'm too embarrassed to donate things in rough shape because if I don't want them, why would someone else? That's how I got a house full of crap in the first place. The last time we moved we had a down-and-out friend who noticed our cracked, egg-encrusted spatula set and asked if he could have it. Nope. It went right in the trash and I just got him a new set. No friend of mine is cooking with egg-encrusted garbage!

This line of teaching my kids is paying off a little too well. Now Bee wants to give away my wedding dress, so that someone else can have their babies. Because wearing a wedding dress is how babies get here or something. (We haven't really covered the bones of all that yet, so let's let it ride.)

But what do I say to her idea? "We have to think of ourselves too?" Or, "ain't no way in hell mommy's donating her gown?" I guess technically I don't need it anymore and might be a dream gown for someone who can't afford one. It's just a thing. Hm. But it's my thing and I like it and what am I talking about, no, I'm not donating my beautiful wedding dress! Stop controlling my thoughts, BABY!!!! What's the phrase I'm looking for here? "Selfishness is the only real atheism"? I'm agnostic, I'll take it.

I'm not giving away my wedding dress.

Next up: Our near miss with death by slow poison!


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